When your friends..

quick post before I go to bed:

Things that make you smile..
When your friends
1. got bf (I was so excited when I got the news last semester)
2. graduated (Congratz, Nyz!!!)
3. got married (this one I need to wait...hahaha)

Let's complain

It's so easy to complain.
In fact this post is a complaint.

I want to complain, why do people easily complain about some 'trivial' stuff?? Well, firstly, my apology, I also like to complain, so on this Chinese New Year, let's struggle together to accept some things and look at them at different perspective.

I just saw a friend's facebook status about the low frequency of bus on Chinese New Year (CNY). To be honest, I was actually touched that I still see Chinese bus drivers on CNY. Yesterday when me and my friends had dinner together, we thought, "It's quite sad right, you still need to work on CNY." As a foreigner, of course there's a sadness that we can't gather at home on CNY. However, this sadness makes me and my friends thought, how we should be grateful that some people still work on CNY and how these people might wish the same thing like us, to be HOME on CNY.

When I was in New Delhi, I was used to push and being pushed to be able to enter the MRT. Since then, I stopped complaining about NUS Internal Shuttle Bus or the crowded MRT. It's nothing. It's really nothing compared with what happened in India. It doesn't mean that we should stop improving the situation, but not complaining sometimes is a form of empathy.

This year, I was very thankful that my friend invited me to her reunion dinner. Apparently her dad is a bus driver. He told us how some people littered in the bus, especially after eating food in the bus (even though it is prohibited). I told him, "Uncle, I actually often eat in the bus." He told me not to eat in the bus, not that because he is worried that I have to pay fine, but he said, it's because the bus is dirty even though it looks clean. People do litter in the bus and there might be larva of cockroach that we can't see. He told us that the bus company receives 40 complaints per day and once you can identify the bus and the timing, the boss will take an 'action' to the bus driver. He also told us how as bus drivers, they must make sure the bus clean all the time and how the long-route bus driver usually has kidney problem because they don't have proper break to go to toilet.

Honestly speaking, I also often complain to some bus drivers or perhaps grumble about them. Oh not only bus driver, but also some authorities, such as Security Guard. If I think about it again (Fr Mario once asked me about it, what makes me talk in offensively to some people), it's because of pride. It's so easy to feel proud. "I pay school fee, so I 'deserve' good service", "I'm educated, why can't you think like a-b-c", "I've already done a-b-c, why....." and so on and so forth. Now I'm quite worried if I ever thought of sending complaint letter (I've never done one, but I always tell people 'just send complaint letter!'). What if someone lost their jobs because of me? What will happen to the family?

I guess it's not to late to make another new year resolution. To be more charitable and try to live in harmony with other people around us :)

Biology Lesson

Last Saturday, I learned from my friend how to differentiate female vs male crab

The male crab has V-Shape thing on its abdomen, while the female crab has this round shape. However, there was one my friend's crab that we couldn't identify whether it's a male or female.

I also saw the crab's breathing!! It was quite amazing. I don't know how to describe, but you can see some parts moving while it's breathing. I was actually quite surprised to see the crabs are soooo small. I mean, when you talk about 'crab', I always imagine the crab on the plates. Apparently, my friend said that majority of the crabs are small and majority are poisonous and non-edible!! wahh..

The super-small crabs looked so fragile. I didn't dare to catch them because I was worried I would press them to death (sounds so psychotic), but at the end I could 'drag' them along the side of their box to move them to another place (sorry crab!). I still cannot hold the sides of the crab. Hahaha. Ohh but most of the crabs were quite fierce. I saw them tried to pinch my friend's fingers. One jumped from the sink to the floor (but she/he was still alive). There's something interesting about crab defense mechanism. They'll try to escape first before they pinch you. So, 'pinching' is the last resort.

So yeah..that's the bio lesson of the day.

the first...

Last Saturday was my first time attending the-first-Solemn Mass-by-newly-ordained-priest. The priest was Fr Damien Lim, the first Singaporean priest in Opus Dei.

I thank God that He told me to come through other people. Initially I wanted to miss it, I felt that "Anyway, it's just another mass" because I had training on Saturday. However, when my friends in Opus Dei talked about the mass, I felt that this mass would be different. It was special.

It was very special indeed. Half an hour before mass, when the choir was practicing, I was already touched by the hymns that they sang. It was 'just' a normal hymn based on the new English translation. However, it was the first time I heard the whole choir sang the hymn really well and it was as beautiful as how it sounded in the videos on explanation of why we go back to chanting style in the new English translation mass.

Another thing that touched me was there were quite a lot of big families attending the mass. It was normal to see a family with 4 children in that morning. As I didn't understand it before I came to Singapore, a lot of my friends, including my roommate, still questioned me, "Why does the Church say 'No' to contraception?" That morning, despite all explanations that I 'learned' or that people told me, I saw the beauty of being generous to God: in responding to His call, including in family life. I saw the beauty of how Natural Family Planning that sounded very 'weird' for me a few years ago, yet it was totally a different spirit with contraception (it's not about natural vs artificial), was a beautiful way to be opened to what God wants. I remember Scott Hahn wrote in his book, Rome Sweet Home, "Having contraception is like you want to eat without being fat by vomiting the food after you eat." It's logical. With contraception, sexual intercourse is a matter of 'I get', not 'I give'. (FYI, he wrote this statement BEFORE he came back to Catholic church)

Every mass is beautiful, but this first-Solemn-mass-by-Fr Damien Lim was just soooo beautiful. The hymns, the people who attended the mass, the priests who held the Body of Christ and gave the Body of Christ to us without rushing, the silent moment after mass before everyone rushed off were beautiful :):)

Really really thank God :):)

Adolescent Psychology - week 1 review :)

Everyone has been in 'that-stage', the stage that G. Stanley Hall (1904) said a period of 'storm and stress'.
The topic is very broad, hmmm let me think what to review this week.

Ok.. There are 2 common themes in adolescent psychology:
1. Effect of Nature vs Nurture
2. Effect of Early Experiences vs Later Experiences

It's so common to say, "Ahh she's so (put any adjective here). It's in the blood. The parents are also (adj)." I used to think that this kind of statement implies that somehow an individual inherits this gene from the parents. However, this can also mean that let's say because the parents are good in music, they train the children since young age and the environment is very conducive to make her like music and be expert in music. There's no way in psychology we can identify how many percents of an attribute are caused by genes and how many percents are influenced by 'environment'. In fact, when you talk about the effect of 'environment', it's not only social 'environment' such as peers, family, schools, community, but also biological 'environment', for example, when you were baby, whether your mom smokes or not affects your brain development.

The second theme is early experiences vs later experiences. It has been shown that kids' attachment style with parents affects their attachment style with their spouse in the future. (Oh no...it seems that I must write another post about attachment style). Anyway, just imagine like this. When you were young, after a few months old, once your parents leave, you will cry and you can't stop crying till your parents come back. After your parents come back, there are some possibilities. Those with 'secure attachment styles' will stop crying and be 'normal' again with parents: hugging, looking for comfort, etc. Those with 'avoidant' style actually do not show any distress when the parents leave them alone. Those with 'ambivalent' style feel distressed when the parents leave them, but when the parents come back, they seek comfort, but also show anger to the parents. These early attachments affect the child's future relationship. However, how important is this early experience compared with later experience is always an area of discussion/ debate.

Let's talk about love

Well, it might not be a good idea to write this post in English because I can't express my thought well in this foreign language. Let's be simple this time.

The thing that I don't like when I write about 'love' in English is because there's only 1 word for 'love'. 'Love' is 'L.O.V.E'. In Indonesian language, 'love' can mean 'kasih', 'cinta', or 'sayang'. In the bible, it is written as 'kasih'. The impression that I get from this word 'kasih' is a pure love. Why? Because the word 'cinta' is used commonly in movies, in novels, and even though it's still a 'magic word' in the wedding, it just feels like 'kasih' is one level above it.

As for 'sayang', this word is a general word for love. You can use it for parents, for friends (You don't tell your friend 'I love you' with the word 'cinta', but you use the word 'sayang'). The interesting thing is 'sayang' is also a translation for 'Darling' while 'kasih' is also an informal word for 'giving', so I just suddenly remember how 'love' is about 'giving'. Well, people say in a relationship, there must be take-and-give process, but the orientation is not to receive. Once a person sees the partner is doing less, or once someone feels that s/he is giving more, the relationship becomes fragile and it just needs a right time, a right stimuli, a small conflict, to break the relationship.

Random Song

One last post before I'm going to bed....

Nitez everyone!!!

Sunday School songs!!

This morning I was singing in lab. Yeahh..not a proper place to sing, but anyway, I can't sing in shower cubicles in my hall right? :P

I was playing the songs in my phone while I pasted label on envelope for the next round of data collection. There was this song titled "Terima kasih, Tuhan" (--> Thank you, Lord). So yeah...I just wanted to sing it :)
Earlier before I went to lab, I literally had a heart-to-heart-talk with God (my roommate already left so no one heard when I voiced out my prayer). Then the conversation became more like a complain. Hahaha. I was talking normally, but then tears started coming out, so I told God, "Why am I crying?? huuuu.... So silly... huuu."

Then I suddenly remembered this upbeat Sunday School song in Indo which means:
"I am loved by God, I am lifted by God to be His Son, I'm loved by God"
I was quite amazed by how a children song could remind me not to worry and to trust Him :):)
Really really thank God!! :D

little thing that makes you smile

Yesterday morning I (finally) could wake up early. After I snoozed the alarm for a few times, I woke up and took the comb. Suddenly I smiled. Why? Because my hair went in as if I used hair dryer to blow it. Hahaha.
So silly!! :P

I smiled the whole morning. First, because I started the day early (and with mass, Thank God!). Second, because of good-hair-'day' (it didn't last till afternoon)

Anyway, it's just a silly post. hahaha

let's talk about stuff

So here we are..
End of week 1!!
Time flies. Let me write about my week 1

First of all, waking up early is REALLY HARD. I'm used to 9-hour-sleep at home and I have difficulties falling asleep by midnight. Second, somehow I'm optimistic that I will not fall asleep during lectures this semester. ALL my lecturers are funny! My first lecture was Adolescent Psychology which was taught by the same lecturer of Psychological Assessment. Maybe it's also because of the material, I feel that I can comprehend what he says better. My second lecture was Animal Behavior. The lecturer was also very funny. I just realized that I didn't know lots of animals name in English =.= My third lecture was Japanese studies which were also taught by two funny and lively lecturers :) and trada....My last lecture was Thai and the teacher is very nice. She was also my writing teacher in Thai 2.

It's very hard to get back to school mood. Thank God I got my school mood on Thursday and Friday. I went to lab and I also wrote my thesis a bit. While I still had the mood to work, I also sent email to my supervisor to meet up next Tuesday. Hence, I have a mini-deadline :)

This week was a healthy week. I went jogging for 53 minutes on Monday (next time I'll target for shorter time with the same distance), Wednesday I went swimming with Krizia and Prashanthi (so cold!!), Thursday I went circuit + stairs training (this morning my thighs were still aching so I skipped the Bukit Timah training and went to lab instead).

Today was quite effective up to 7.30pm. Then once I sat in my room, that's it! Lazy Saturday night syndrome came back. Hahaha

Reason + Faith

The Way, 353, have you ever stopped to think how absurd it is to leave one's Catholicism aside on entering university or a professional association, a learned society or parliament, like  a man leaving his hat at the door?
-St. Josemaria Escriva-

When I talked about faith to a 'free-thinker' friend, she said, "Ohh..I'm more into 'science-person', not into 'religion' ". Another friend said, "Just be a good person, no need religion."

It is as if faith and reason cannot go along with each other. This was my thought too. It is quite normal and acceptable in my neighborhood in Indonesia to advise someone, "Just accept it. This is our faith." We don't really demand explanation of faith. Coming into discussion with person of different religion, the conclusion is "I have my faith, you have your faith, no need to explain and discuss about it. It's just different."

Since I came to Singapore, I've been 'challenged' by lots of things. 'Challenged' doesn't always mean that someone attacks you with difficult questions. 'Challenged' might just mean something like this:
Scenario A (real scenario)
you've been sleeping late every day because of hall activities. What wrong is it doing if you don't go to Church for one Sunday 'only'?

Scenario B (real scenario)
A Catholic friend has a Protestant boyfriend and she misses mass on Sunday to attend Sunday service at the boyfriend's church. She said, "Anyway, it's the same God"

If only we know the beauty of the Sacrament of the Eucharist, the logic and reason behind the mystery of how the Eucharist is a REAL presence of God, not only a symbol, things will be different. Mass is a mass, not a service. Missing mass equals to missing appointment with a SUPER IMPORTANT BEING (even more than missing appointment with Mr President). The feeling is not only about "3rd commandment: Remember to keep holy the Sabbath Day" so I MUST go to Church, but it's more into you go to mass because you love God :) more than when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend with a looooooooong distance relationship, you are looking forward to meeting him/ her :):) Believing this is not an illogical thing even though you cannot use formula A-Z to describe the mechanism of how bread is changed to the Body of Christ because there's a logic behind this transformation and this belief (--> homework for reader: find out about this :P)

So yeah...where I am just now?
This post has focused to one specific topic rather than commenting on that one point of 'The Way'. As now I'm leaving university soon, entering the jungle thicker than the jungle of NUS, it doesn't mean that I can just 'leave my Catholicism like a man leaving my hat at the door'. 

When you lost your phone...

I lost my phone on Friday night. It was the first time for me losing my phone and the feeling was more of guilt rather than sad. I believed it was because of my carelessness. The last time I used it was at the bus stop and because I carried my pig-rabbit with the EZ Link card inside, I carried the phone too with me. The problem was I could not remember whether I dropped it at the bus stop or in the bus. My friend said if it fell at the bus stop, that's it, but if it fell in the bus, there's still hope.

On Saturday, my friends helped me calling my phone so many times, but there was not any answer. They also called SBS (the bus company), but it seems like they do not open on weekends. On Saturday night, I went to Jurong Point to buy a white thread and on my way there I thought, hmm, maybe I should check the phone at Jurong East Interchange.

I asked the passenger service about my phone. He asked me which bus and when I lost it. He also asked me to tell him my phone number. Anyway, I couldn't hide my joy finding the phone :):) Thank God!!

People asked me, "Is the phone expensive?" I dunno the price, so I just said, "Maybe.."
"Are there much credit left in the phone?" "I forgot. The last time I topped up was before I went to Thailand."
I thought more of how the phone was really useful when I was in India, how my mom passed it down to me (it was not a new phone), how I just took lots of family pictures in Indo with my phone, how among all places which were labeled 'warning-your-valuables' such as Bangkok, Jakarta, and India, I LOST IT IN SINGAPORE!!! =.=

Anyway, thank you for the 183 driver :):) and thanks for my friends who've been helping me calling the phone!! :):)
Since then, I tried to put my phone in my bag immediately after I used it. Hehehe. :)