*status: standing in photocopy room in Central Library*
I realize that sometimes I have difficulties to live in the present. Giving excuse to myself as "planning" or on the other extreme as "being nostalgic", I've wasted lots of time flying to the past or the future. I thank God for the light He has given me to be aware of this weakness.
Now I know why at certain moments, I feel a sudden mellow after a great happiness. In my final year in high school, I could feel a sudden loneliness around midnight. Despite the happiness that I felt with my friends at school, I was soooo scared and worried things would change because each of us would move the different universities. Sometimes I feel that worry again, especially now I'm in my final year. However, now I realize that what I should do is exactly to live in the present, to cherish every moment with my friends and not to waste it by being "emo" (I only learned this vocabulary when I entered university).
A few days ago I was involved with a conversation with my supervisor's research assistant (RA) and a master's student in clinical psychology. They were discussing about the RA's master's application to Australia. Suddenly I felt the worry again. Would I ever be able to continue and pursue further studies? Everything is so competitive. Thank God a sentence by the master's student struck me, "Don't worry. Now just focus on your exam." She's correct. If I worry too much about what will happen in 1 or 2 years, obviously I will mess up my exams. Now I just need to do my best for my exams that are really standing RIGHT in front of my eyes.
I've just done my first exam. Although I felt that I've wasted lots of time in my 13 weeks of school, I feel really grateful for the blessing that He has given me this semester. I can feel that God helped me a lot to sit still and persevere in my study, to catch up during reading week. This is the best reading week that I've ever had. Hopefully I can continue to persevere till the end of this semester (not only up to 29 Nov because I still need to catch up on my thesis after that :P)
Amen!! :) Thanks for all your prayers :)
I realize that sometimes I have difficulties to live in the present. Giving excuse to myself as "planning" or on the other extreme as "being nostalgic", I've wasted lots of time flying to the past or the future. I thank God for the light He has given me to be aware of this weakness.
Now I know why at certain moments, I feel a sudden mellow after a great happiness. In my final year in high school, I could feel a sudden loneliness around midnight. Despite the happiness that I felt with my friends at school, I was soooo scared and worried things would change because each of us would move the different universities. Sometimes I feel that worry again, especially now I'm in my final year. However, now I realize that what I should do is exactly to live in the present, to cherish every moment with my friends and not to waste it by being "emo" (I only learned this vocabulary when I entered university).
A few days ago I was involved with a conversation with my supervisor's research assistant (RA) and a master's student in clinical psychology. They were discussing about the RA's master's application to Australia. Suddenly I felt the worry again. Would I ever be able to continue and pursue further studies? Everything is so competitive. Thank God a sentence by the master's student struck me, "Don't worry. Now just focus on your exam." She's correct. If I worry too much about what will happen in 1 or 2 years, obviously I will mess up my exams. Now I just need to do my best for my exams that are really standing RIGHT in front of my eyes.
I've just done my first exam. Although I felt that I've wasted lots of time in my 13 weeks of school, I feel really grateful for the blessing that He has given me this semester. I can feel that God helped me a lot to sit still and persevere in my study, to catch up during reading week. This is the best reading week that I've ever had. Hopefully I can continue to persevere till the end of this semester (not only up to 29 Nov because I still need to catch up on my thesis after that :P)
Amen!! :) Thanks for all your prayers :)
Yes! Focus on the present. Hope for the future, but don't worry about it. It's amazing how God opens the right doors. I didn't make plans to come to Singapore, to do Political Science, to do masters, to get the chance to lecture (God willing, fingers crossed, waiting for the employment pass haha!). Given how I work, I don't think I deserve these things. You just work well and pray and trust completely and I'm sure only the very best will come your way. :)
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