7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 20

- 1 - 

Last night me and Paul saw three little kids and their father in adoration room. The oldest boy was around 8 or 9 years old, the second girl was around 7 or 8 years old, and the youngest girl was around 4 years old. Three of them prostrated themselves in front of Our Lord for quite some time. The youngest girl stood up and was about to walk around the room and the second girls said, "No, pray!" So the youngest girl prostrated herself again =P then the youngest girl walked to her dad, who was praying, and asked, "Papa, papa, what's that?" (pointed at the Blessed Sacrament). The father said, "It's Jesus." The little girl walked closer to the Blessed Sacrament with her kneeler and just stared at Jesus. Then the two girls and the father were leaving the room, the second girl said, "Ge ge (elder brother in Chinese), let's go!" The boy was sitting looking at Jesus for a while before he followed them out.

It was very heartwarming to see how these little kids learned to visit Jesus from their parents. I tried to imagine the little girl's admiration towards Jesus during my prayer since last night. Sooo...what's the right word, plain? Innocent? :) Very beautiful!

- 2 -

I wrote a post on religious climate in Singapore and Indonesia, joining Jen's link up on religious climate in various countries. As I mentioned, Indonesia is not under Shariah Law. The major religion is Islam, but we are not a Muslim country. Interestingly, actually when the founding fathers of our nation discussed about the ideology that we want to use for nation, there was a discussion to put the first principle as "Indonesia is under Shariah Law." However, they decided to use "We believe in One God." We have five principles (Pancasila, Panca = five, Sila = principles) as our ideology. Atheism is kinda not accepted.

- 3 -

Related to point 2, there's something interesting about "free-thinker-ism" in Indonesia. While in Singapore people openly acknowledge that they are free-thinkers, in Indonesia if you are a non-practicing Buddhist/Christian/Islam/etc, you will still say that you are ______ (your religion that your parents teach you). Just that you may say, "I'm Christian-IC (Only on my IC, but I'm not practicing)" They won't say that "I'm free-thinker".

- 4 -

My books that I ordered have not reached!! >.<

- 5 -

Recently, I've been amazed by how courtship means different things for different people. I take it for granted that me and my circle of friends have principles that the person whom you are attached to has a potential to be your future partner. Even if we are not sure if we are going to marry that person, we 'evaluate' our relationship and our partner based on criteria that we have in mind for a spouse. Our effort to get to know each other is also based on an end-goal that we want to work towards marriage.

Apparently, some guys may not think 'that far'.

- 6 -

The more I learn about children, the more I've found how parents' values and upbringing are very important. Parents can't stop growing and learning. Last year I found a vacancy as a case manager in a hospital for women's psychological well-being. I was not shortlisted for interview, but I remembered that I really wrote there that my interest in women's psychological well-being was influenced by my interest in children.

In fact, some studies showed that mother's depression may affect children's cognitive functioning. Other studies also showed how father's play behavior with the kids tends to be more adventurous (e.g., throwing kids to the air!) and this helps the kids to have courage to explore their surrounding too. So I found it very depressing to see how so many psychological evidences showed the importance of each parent, but at the same time, in the name of 'psychology', some people try to advocate parents with homosexual tendency' (two mothers or two fathers) to have right to adopt children.

- 7 -

I've been transcribing observation videos for my work for the past week. It's quite amusing =D But I need tea to keep me awake in the afternoon while transcribing the videos.

More quick takes at Jen's blog!!! :)

Religious climate in....Singapore and Indonesia :)

Hello! You can read about religious climate in other countries through Jen's blog.

1.
I'm an Indonesian living in Singapore since 2008. So, I would love to share about religious climate in both countries ^^

2.
Church attendance is very good here. The difference is...in Indonesia, the churches are far from another. In Singapore, if you miss let's say 9.30 am Mass in Holy Cross, you can easily take MRT for two more stops and go to other church. It's so easy to go daily masses in Singapore. The timing ranges from 6.30am, 7am, 8.30am, even lunch-time weekday Mass! In Indonesia, if you want to go weekday Mass, you need to go to 6am Mass =P and they don't have weekday Mass on Saturdays. In my parish in Indonesia, evening Mass only available on Tuesday and Friday.

Oh another difference, in Indonesia, we need to set up tents outside at the parking lot for Easter Triduum and Christmas. There are just sooooooooooooo many people who suddenly come for Easter and Christmas (we call some people NaPas Catholics ('Na' for Natal (Christmas), 'Pas' for Paskah (Easter)).

My parish in Indonesia: Paroki Hati Maria Tak Bernoda (Parish Immaculate Heart of Mary)

Regarding Church attendance, there's something beyond 'attending Mass'. I think both in Singapore and Indonesia, many people still have this misconception that "It's okay to miss Mass on vacation" or "It's okay to miss Mass to study for exams". Another sad thing in Singapore is there are significant number of people who wear shorts and slippers to Mass. In Indonesia, people will surely stare at you or whisper behind your back to tell their kids not to follow your attire when you wear shorts or bathroom slippers to Mass.

3.
It is okay, no awkward moment when we acknowledge ourselves as Christian.

BUT..

in Singapore, people have misconceptions that Catholics are NOT Christians. When we make sign of cross or say that 'I go to Church on Sundays', some people ask, "Are you Christian?" I often answer, "Yes, I'm Christian-Catholic" and some of them would be confused.

in Indonesia, we just call ourselves Catholics and it's enough. They know that Catholics are Christians and they call our brothers and sisters from Christian Protestant as 'Christian Protestant'.

Ahh..additional information: The major religion in Indonesia is Islam, but Indonesia is NOT a Moslem country (unlike Malaysia!). So the confusion happened when I'm in Singapore and I said, "I'm from Indonesia." Their next question, "Can you eat pork?" I said, "Yes, I can eat everything. I'm a Catholic." Some friends in university will be puzzled, "I thought most Indonesians are Moslems?" Another complication is because in Singapore and Malaysia, the Malays (the race that is originally from this region, not Singaporean-Chinese or Singaporean-Indian) are Moslem. If the situation is like me, my dad is half-Chinese half-'Bumiputera' (how they call the Malays in Malaysia) while my mom is Chinese, I must be a Moslem in Malaysia. I don't have a choice. But in Indonesia, I can be a Catholic. Many Malays are Catholics or Christians, while in Singapore, Malay is assumed to be equal with being a Moslem.

4. What kind of faith do the Politicans claim to practice?

Politicians in Singapore - Uhm, I'm not sure. I guess Buddhist or free-thinker? I'm really not sure...
But Singapore used to have a Catholic foreign minister, George Yeo, who was just recently appointed as part of Special Vatican Commision. In terms of policy-making, Singapore practices secularism.

Politicians in Indonesia are Moslem. I guess it would still be a looooooooooooooooooonggg way to go till we have a Christian president. It'll be tough, to be honest. But yeah..we also have Catholic ministers. Interestingly, we always have national Christmas celebration which was attended by Archbishop in Jakarta (the capital city of Indonesia), some church leaders from Christian Protestant, and Indonesian president! :) Our law is not based on Sharia law (like in Malaysia), except in Aceh (one of the provinces in Indonesia).

5.
Attitudes towards family size

In Singapore, it definitely provokes an open mouth to see a family with more than three kids. In Indonesia, hmm, for my generation, I think four is still acceptable (but not common).

But..the sad thing is, my generation has been fed with Soeharto's "two-is-enough" campaign, the campaign to promote contraceptives and to curb the growth of population. Compared to Catholics in Singapore, most Catholics in Indonesia do not know about the Church teaching on contraceptives. :(:( *lots of homework to do to raise awareness about this!* ps. Soeharto is the second president of Indonesia. His regime stood for 32 years.

Advertisement on the streets: "Family has better quality with only two children"

What I would like to add is people in Indonesia have different views of marriage compared to people in Singapore. Oh well, my generation slowly has this mentality of 'must-have-all-first-before-marriage', but parents' view and advice would still be, "You learn and grow together after you get married. You don't need to be rich first." While in Indonesia, to get married at the age of 24 and 25 is normal, seen in Singapore as, "Wah, very young!!"

6.
I'm not sure about the dominant belief system in Singapore 50 years ago.

But for Indonesia, it's Islam. However, Islam 50 years ago in Indonesia is different with Islam now. Take an example of the use of veil for Moslem women. It was something that only came to Indonesia in 1970s and old generation was quite resistant about wearing it. They saw it as something foreign.

7. Do the people where you live seem happy with their lives?

I guess so. =P

I think I should write another post about Catholicism in my parish in Indonesia :):) I really admire the bond between Catholic neighbours in Indonesia because we have neighbourhood activities (smaller structure below parish). In Singapore they call this Neighbourhood Christian Communities (NCC), but I don't think it's as vibrant as in Indonesia. In Indonesia, the NCC takes turn to be wardens, to be choir for Sunday Masses, etc. However, I really think that we need more doctrinal formation! :(

3. HOW APPROPRIATE WOULD IT BE FOR A PERSON TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE OR SHE IS A BELIEVING CHRISTIAN IN CASUAL CONVERSATION? - See more at: http://www.conversiondiary.com/#sthash.CdQWKh1m.dpuf

1. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Your answer here.
2. WHAT IS CHURCH ATTENDANCE LIKE? ARE THERE MANY CHURCHES?
Your answer here.
3. HOW APPROPRIATE WOULD IT BE FOR A PERSON TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE OR SHE IS A BELIEVING CHRISTIAN IN CASUAL CONVERSATION?
Your answer here.
4. WHAT KIND OF FAITH DO THE POLITICIANS CLAIM TO PRACTICE?
Your answer here.
5. HOW COMMON WOULD IT BE TO SEE A FAMILY WITH MORE THAN THREE KIDS? WHAT ARE THE ATTITUDES TOWARD FAMILY SIZE?
Your answer here.
6. WHAT WAS THE DOMINANT BELIEF SYSTEM IN YOUR AREA 50 YEARS AGO? WHAT IS IT NOW?
Your answer here.
7. DO THE PEOPLE WHERE YOU LIVE SEEM HAPPY WITH THEIR LIVES?
Your answer here
- See more at: http://www.conversiondiary.com/#sthash.CdQWKh1m.dpuf

Missing Quick Takes from last week

Hello. I missed my 7 Quick Takes last Friday. Today is a public holiday. Idul Adha! :) It was so embarrassing because I bumped to 2 Moslem friends and I forgot to wish them!! :( They celebrated the day Abraham was willing sacrifice Ismail (uhm, yup, they don't believe it was Ishak there) and because God stopped Abraham from doing that at the end, it was a lamb which was offered as a sacrifice instead of Abraham's son.

Soooo..if I were in Indonesia at this point of time, you'll see goats, lambs, here and there because people were selling goats and lambs :) In my school, our student council also donated a goat every year to a local community around us (usually we donated to a mosque).

Two Sundays ago I spent time at Paul's house. I hope Paul's sister doesn't mind I put her daughter's photo here =P She's 2.5 years old already and was enjoying Cinderella. Interestingly, she picked up 'Singlish' already!!

"Mouse..scared scared one"
"Got xx"

The use of 'one', 'got', 'lah', 'meh' is the mark of Singapore Colloquial English.

 

Thanks to Sharmini, I tried to teach Ryan using clay. Surprisingly, he doesn't really play with clay. Initially he asked, "What is it?" He touched the clay and said, "Ihhh." (disgusted!) Then I took a little bit of the clay and make a round shape. He followed me and said, "Ahhh. Blue tack!" (he loves blue tack!) Then I said, "Nooo. It's clay."

He loves it! He mixed all the colors >.< *no more individual color clay now!*

Last Saturday, I had cross-stitch session at Hillcrest Study Centre with the primary school girls.

We were aiming to cross-stitch a name, but most of them ended up only finishing 1 or 2 first letters of their name (except two girls!). One of them called me "Ferninda trouble-shooter" because my job was to help them untie the accidental knot or calm them down when other accidents happened (e.g., they didn't pull the thread so the two strain-thread became four-strain). It was fun =D

left to right: Evi, Pheara, me, Sharmini

And...girls night out on Sunday! We (actually only Pheara and Evi) cooked together :) Sharmini brought dragon fruit, we played loud music as we cooked *hehehe* and just laughed and had fun!

Before that, me and Paul went to National Museum of Singapore. We followed the audio guide ONE BY ONE so we spent 2.5 hours walking HALF of the gallery. It was soooo relaxing. Much much much much better than spending time at shopping mall or watching movie. The museum fee is $10 for foreigners :( 

Lim Boon Keng, a medical doctor

Boon Keng is the name of the MRT stop near Paul's house. I didn't know that it's a name of a medical doctor who was influential in the early 20th Century in Singapore.


***

Book that I'm currently reading:

5 Love Languages!!! *Thanks to Dom!*

Have a great public holiday!! woohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo =D

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 19

- 1 -

I finally finished reading Pride and Prejudice. :) My favorite new phrase is "to compose herself". As someone who speaks English as a second language, I have never used those words before and I am quite amused by the usage of that word: 'compose', again and again in the novel.

- 2 -

There were so many celebrations this week! Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux on 1st Oct, Feast of Guardian Angel and the anniversary of how St Josemaria saw Opus Dei on 2nd Oct, and Feast of St Francis of Assisi on 4th Oct! I have special memories about St. Therese of Lisieux. I borrowed her autobiography when I went to India for internship in 2011. Because of this book, I started using Imitation of Christ to pray (I abandoned the book for quite some time and only used it after I read her autobiography). I was also so amazed by the fact on how her family taught her and her sisters about the faith and how she was looking forward for her first Holy Communion. I mean, I knew that first Holy Communion was special, but the importance that her family put on that moment was striking for me (even though that's how things are supposed to be!). Somehow at that moment when I was reading the book, the thing that struck me the most was her family upbringing :)

- 3 -

Yesterday me and my friends had Spanish dinner and karaoke =D Such a relaxing Friday night!!

- 4 -

All my favorite blogs have been mentioning about Brideshead Revisited. So yeah, I just ordered it and looking forward to read it! Okay, this time, I'll read SLOWER and I'll check the dictionary if I don't understand the words. (I skip all the confusing words in Pride and Prejudice >.< Perhaps I should re-read it)

Oh actually, the most difficult thing in reading novel is to keep track of the names (the change of the usage of first name and surname) and to keep track of who speaks this particular line. (That's why, I need to read slower). Even though the description of the scene is interesting, I tend to skim through the description of the places. *lazy*

- 5 -

This week me and my colleagues were busy of running experiment at a child care centre. Most interesting experience? When the little kids keep holding our hands or hugging us :) :)
Most not-so-pleasant experience? It's when the kids refused to focus on the 'games' (the experiment). Things like "I don't want to play anymore" or "I want A" (calling his friend's name).

- 6 -

Argh I need to sleep soon.........

Anyway, today the girls' club went ice-skating! Hmm, I think I should give it a try. I just went ice-skating once and I didn't do it so well that time. Today I chose to sit and cheer at them because I didn't want to skate and fall in front of the girls =P They seemed to have lots of fun!

- 7 -

I just found out that I can estimate how short or long the dress is by looking at the 'side neck to hem' length info on the online shop. It's not so accurate because sometimes it depends on the materials of the dress too. However, at least I can avoid buying a dress that is too short and ends up as a top >.< Another trick is to look at the info of the model height. Hahahaha. If it looks too short on the picture, but the model is much taller than me, it means the length is quite safe for me =P

More quick takes at www.conversiondiary.com!

Stories about guardian angel

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear
to whom God's love commits me here.

Ever this day be at my side
to light and guard and rule and guide.

Amen.

 2nd October is the Feast of Guardian Angel. 

I'd like to share some stories about how my guardian angel has been protecting me :)

When I was in New Delhi, India, I needed to walk from the MRT to the Cathedral. (Initially I took the bajaj, but apparently the church was walkable from MRT so I decided to walk the following weeks) There was one Sunday as I was walking, a man approached me and kept talking to me even though I ignored him. He kept saying, "Namaste! How are you? Where do you come from?" etc etc. (around 10 minutes?) I just walked quickly and looked straight to the front and acted deaf. The thing is in New Delhi, many people tried to cheat tourists. You just need to ignore them (not even say, "Yes?" because they'll continue talking and bringing you to whatever shop that can give them money since they bring you there) Anyway, that period of time, I prayed a lot to ask my guardian angel's help. I felt peace to know that I was not alone.

One year afterwards, me and my friends went for white river rafting in Manali, India. The raft capsized and the only thing I remembered was the guide has told us to keep holding to the 'lifeline', the string at the sides of the raft. I held the lifeline, but I was underwater for quite sometime and started to have difficulties breathing. The current was very strong and suddenly I felt that someone pulled me up. It was the guide. I couldn't describe it but I was breathing very loudly afterwards, and water kept coming to my mouth. The guide helped me and my friends to climb up the capsized raft. My fear was, what if the raft capsized again? However, another raft came and me moved to that raft.

We only knew that the situation was very serious after we were all safe at the bank of the river. The villagers were watching at the side of the river. In fact, the other guide said that he knew something was wrong (this guide is the trekking guide and he didn't go rafting with us) because so many people ran along the side of the river and people were throwing strings or whatever stuff hoping that we grabbed those stuff. 

My only thought afterwards was, my guardian angel...

It's a bit hard to explain, but in life vs. death situation, there was a peace afterwards to know that your guardian angel has been protecting you. 

In the formation that I've received, they encourage us to have devotion to guardian angel, to talk to guardian angel, and to greet ours or our friends' guardian angel. When I face difficult situation in running the experiment, I pray to the guardian angel of the child so that the child cooperate =P hahahaha. There was one time when I was joking with my boyfriend, I said, "Our guardian angels must have been laughing at us." It's quite interesting to remember that even if it's only two of us, there are four of us in total (including our guardian angels) :)

I wish I could have known about guardian angel since my childhood. Isn't it beautiful to know that you are NEVER alone?  :)

Are you dying to go for a retreat?

A friend of mine needs to take an unpaid leave to attend her annual retreat. I mentioned about this friend (B) to another friend of mine (A). I told A that B went to World Youth Day recently, so she did not have enough annual leave to attend her retreat. Surprisingly, B responded: Is A dying to go for a retreat?

I was very shocked. A bit sad too, because I thought B would understand. So I just replied, "Umm.. retreat once a year is normal, right? It's a commitment."

These are some other responses of other friends when they were asked to go for a retreat:
x: I just meditate on my own. Haha.
y: No time
z: etc etc

Looking back, I didn't even think to 'sacrifice' my annual leave to go for a retreat (not even an 'unpaid leave', but annual leave). When I was in university, I thought annual leave would be something very precious for me. I want to go home! I want to travel!

However, I would like to make a comparison between annual retreat and annual vacation. We always have weekends, nevertheless, we can't deny that we need a longer break once in a while. We jump and plan a long weekend properly because we know, that normal weekend is not enough! We also meet our parents every day or go out with them on weekends, yet we still need a family vacation, to relax and just spend an uninterrupted time with them once a year.

Recharge.
That's what a retreat does to our soul. I believe when I grow older, to go for annual retreat requires more sacrifice. One day, my future spouse will need to take care of the kids while I go for my retreat (and I will need to survive alone too when he goes for a retreat). Annual leave is even more precious: to have vacation with my own family, to visit my parents, to visit future spouse's parents if we live overseas. Nevertheless, I feel encouraged that there are many (yes, MANY!) parents of big families still commit to this personal retreat once a year.

It's an investment.
Because after resting with God, we can't deny that we'll be more cheerful and our family and friends will get the impact too.

So yeah..we shouldn't be shocked that an individual takes an unpaid leave to go for a retreat. Love needs sacrifice right? On the other hand, I guess I shouldn't be shocked either that someone is shocked of this fact =P Not every person can understand this commitment. Just like many other people do not understand why many couples are trying to be generous and opened to life, just like many other people do not understand why we Catholics need to find Church even on vacation, just like many other people do not understand why we...pray.

anyway, looking forward for my boyfriend to come back from his retreat. Maybe can see a 'halo' above his head tomorrow. HAHAHAHA.

Marriage: a permanent reminder of Cross - how about...courtship???

Spouses are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers. Of this salvation event marriage, like every sacrament, is a memorial, actuation and prophecy: "As a memorial, the sacrament gives them the grace and duty of commemorating the great works of God and of bearing witness to them before their children. As actuation, it gives them the grace and duty of putting into practice in the present, towards each other and their children, the demands of a love which forgives and redeems. As prophecy, it gives them the grace and duty of living and bearing witness to the hope of the future encounter with Christ."(32) (The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II, 1981

Again, I think courtship is a training ground.

If one only expects courtship to be easy and smooth, urgh, that's it.
However, if one stays in a relationship even though he or she "can't love" his or her partner, oh well, I don't think it's healthy too.

My question, what if you don't have the concept of "Cross"?

How do you go through courtship if even though your partner doesn't go to the extreme of expecting a fairytale, he or she just doesn't get it that it takes TWO (in fact THREE) to get to know each other and to prepare for marriage?

How do you go through courtship if your partner stops at the point of "knowing each other" but unwilling to change?

So...I'm that person.. =D *peace*

For those stubborn people out there, we can do a hi-five. Please tick if you think either one of these points:
1. If I change, I'm not myself anymore.
2. You love me? This is ME!!
3. I want to be better, but I'm scared I don't recognize myself after I change
4. Why can't you understand my circumstances?
5. I acted A, but I intended B. Can't you please understand my intention?

So...after that meeting with couple Bernard&Ying to prepare for the Faith and Reason forum organized by Legionaries, I was so touched when Mrs Ying said, "You know what? Marriage is a permanent reminder of the cross. Isn't it beautiful?"

Yes, it's hard to change. It's humiliating. It's painful. It's just...not me..

But it's normal to change.
Doesn't a mother change too? She has her personality, but somehow she changes after she has three children, compared to when she was dating.

It's a maturity process. and it's...

hard.

but there's always hope.

If you don't train NOW, during courtship, then that's it.
But, it doesn't also mean that you expect your partner to change IMMEDIATELY. His defect now will still be more or less the same with his defect 10 or 20 years from now =P So if he's the one, pray that you have the strength to accept him too. To love, is a love without condition. There's no such thing like "I love you IF you a) b) c)". Love is.. "I don't like your c) d) e), I accept you, but let's struggle together to grow together"

<3 p="">
---dedicated to my mom, who has shown me how she showed me example on this 'permanent-reminder-of-the-cross' ----