7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 36

- 1 -

Happy Easter!! =)
The Easter Vigil that I attended lasted for 5 hours. In this church, the people were immersed in the water for the baptism. The most interesting thing is to see the young kids looked so excited (to be baptized and to get wet) =P Also, it's so nice to see that there were some families that were baptized together.

- 2 -

I want to change the content of this blog a bit to be more into reflections, or mini-essays. The thing is I would love to go back to writing my diary so I need to consciously stop writing some things that are too personal here in this blog. I noticed that sometimes there are things that I would not like to post on facebook because it may be too negative, yet I posted them in this blog because I thought, there were fewer people who read my blog, but I still want people to read my mind about this topic. However, I think it's not wise to do so as sometimes it can be quite impulsive. I personally don't like when people complain on facebook or twitter too often, so I won't do it on my blog too (I hope!!)

- 3 -

During the retreat, I found this interesting book:

I just started reading a few pages of that book. Actually the same content has been mentioned a bit here and there, for example, in St. Francis de Sales "Introduction to Devout Life", yet I think this book is very useful for me because the whole book is just about this topic, so I can just find what I need immediately at any moment.

- 4 -

Last Monday I went down to a senior activity centre to facilitate a focus group among elderly. I suddenly have this thought, "Have you ever imagined yourself as an elderly?" "What kind of elderly will you be?" I mean, we are healthy now, we can walk here and there, call our friends and meet up in a shopping mall. However, there will be a point when perhaps, our legs are not that strong. Perhaps, some of our friends pass away already. Or perhaps, we are the ones who are sick and need to be taken care of.

I guess it's a good reminder for me. Even though people talk so much about active aging, I guess it's good to remind myself that my self-esteem shouldn't depend on what I do or what I can or cannot do. It's also a good reminder for myself, that next time, even though I may not be able to run around anymore, I can sanctify my sickness and my pain.

- 5 -

I also happened to get to know a friend of a friend who has a degeneration disease, the one that is portrayed in the Japanese drama "1 litre of tears". It was the first time for me meeting this friend, and initially I thought he had walking difficulties. When we all had dinner, I noticed the carabiner hang on his water bottle. It was a real carabiner that people use to climb. So I said, wowww how come you use real carabiner? Then he said, he used to go climbing, before he got the disease.

So I changed the topic after that.

I am not close to this friend, but one thing I wish I could be is, to just be a normal friend for him, just like my friends treat him with affection, with care, and not with a pity. I guess it is very important to pray and be there for our friends, because we need to admit that it's tough to accept an incurable illness. We may not be able to understand their feeling, yet we believe that God allows things to happen for a reason. And we need to help our friend to embrace this cross.

- 6 -

After doing more research on the topic of modesty, I realize I'm more freaked out when I walk at Orchard Road or in NUS campus. The popular type of shorts out there is really 'scary'. And I really can't understand why people wear cloth that reveals undergarment. I mean, there is a reason why undergarment called 'under-garment' right?

The most scary part is...it is deemed normal to wear these clothes.

Perhaps I should do a simple research. Pick all 'normal' clothes, do a survey among young adults and teenagers and ask them if they would love their daughters to wear those clothes. (not only 'do not mind', but to agree with enthusiasm)

- 7 -

In today's scrapbooking session, one of the girls wrote "I love my siblings".
I think this is very touching =) Even though when we asked, "What are the things that you think difficult to do?", they would answer "Being patient with the irritating siblings", these girls do love their siblings. Hahaha.

More quick takes at Jen's blog!!

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 35

- 1 -

This week I broke my record of the frequency of indoor rock-climbing. Hahaha. I went climbing last Sunday, Wednesday, and belaying the girls yesterday. Such a healthy week.

- 2 -

Next week I will go to my retreat. Finally!

- 3 -

Today is a rest day. Just spending time at home and doing cross-stitch that is always halfway. Hahaha

- 4 -

Legion of Mary organized a forum on modesty last Friday. Contrary to my expectation, even though you talk to a bunch of Catholic students, it's still hard to accept the notion of unity of body and soul, of what you do to your body sends message about your soul. Even though we bring up issues about modesty as a virtue, modesty is still seen as a restriction.

More needs to be discussed and clarified about this topic.

- 5 -

My Spanish lesson is progressing =)
I'm really amazed how the word 'esperar' in Spanish has two meanings: 'to wait' and 'to hope'.

- 6 -

Today is Indonesian election for legislative members. I forgot to register T.T Will register for the president election.

It's quite scary how there are two prominent figures who were involved in human rights abuse during Soeharto regime in Timor Leste and in the riot broke out in May 1998 are stepping up to be presidents. It's been a long time since I wrote about human rights issues in my country, I guess it's time to do proper research and write again.

- 7 -

In the last election, the winner of the election is not the ruling party, but the "White group" (Golongan Putih), which means the people who chose not to vote anyone.


Most Indonesians are skeptical about election, because the corruption in our government spreads from top to bottom. Honest politicians are minority and the photos of legislative members falling asleep during meeting or empty seats during meeting are not uncommon scenes in our media.



More quick takes at Jen's blog!!

The beauty of language: ขอโทษ (khoo thoot)

My previous post reminded me of a Thai word: ขอโทษ (khoo thoot) which means "I'm sorry". It literally means "asking punishment" (khoo = ask, thoot = punishment).

It's really a humbling word as when you say sorry, you acknowledge that you deserve and you ask for a punishment. Sometimes I demand forgiveness rather than accepting the so-called-punishment.

So at times when it is very hard to say sorry and accept the consequences of my mistake, I should remember this word:  ขอโทษ (khoo thoot)

=)

The beauty of language: esperar

It is my fourth month learning Spanish language.
I am amazed by the fact that they use the same word for 'to hope' and 'to wait', which is 'esperar'.

Such a beautiful reminder of the value of waiting and the optimism in waiting as one is waiting because one has hope ^^

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 34

- 1 -

The week in which I wrote a lot on this blog, I somehow disappeared from 7 Quick Takes =) Anyway, last week I spent lots of time writing a blog series with my best friends since primary school. It's a bit like a link-up. We have same topic for each post and we name these series as the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants because four of us live in four different countries: Nyz in England, Nic in China, and Pril in Indonesia. Last week, we wrote about "50 Facts About Me". Unfortunately, I wrote this post in Indonesian language so you won't be able to read it, but feel free to google translate =P In fact, I proposed these series with my friends so that not only we have a fun way to catch up with each other, but also to train me to keep writing in my mother tongue.

- 2 -

It's been decided.

I'll be going to Spain and Rome this September. (praying hard for my visa!!!) I hope everything goes well!!
So...if you have any ideas how to raise fund in these few months, please let me know! My plan is to cook before work and sell lunch to my colleagues. HAHAHAHA (because the food in our canteen is quite horrible....) However, my cooking skill is not that good, so I'm not sure if this is possible. Maybe I should give free trial first. =P

Last night I was doing some research about the visa requirement. So many things to prepare!
But yeah..excited.

It's not only a 'normal' traveling, but it will be a pilgrimage of the Way of St James  for five days, followed by Beatification of Don Alvaro in Madrid then proceed to Rome for a few days. For me, this will be a trip of thanksgiving as God has granted many things for me through Don Alvaro's intercession (one of which is Paul's first paper published last December) ^^ and.... a trip to ask many special intentions (oops!). When I talked to people about this trip, as I have a very tight budget (we're going to stay over in a school during our trip to Madrid and Rome to save money), I always say, don't imagine a luxurious trip. However, think about it like this. Firstly, Beatification doesn't happen every day =P Secondly, I believe there will be many many graces granted through this trip including with a package of the discomfort of the hot summer in Madrid. But yeah..imagine you are there with thousands and thousands of Catholics in one place, united and prayed together. It'll be a beautiful experience!

- 3 -

This week has been a tiring week. I'm exploring a program that can analyze massive transcriptions, and it's tough! It should be simple, but errors and warning messages appear here and there. Argggghhh! This is the first time I leave office with eyes almost closed because my eyes are just soooo tired.

- 4 -

On Tuesday, we invited someone from HR to our Tuesday Lounge. She answered my doubts and fears without the need of me voicing them out. Hahaha. Firstly, she encouraged us to find many opportunities in our current job position, in our company. So finding experience is not the same with job hopping. Secondly, we need to know what's deep inside us. And you know what she said? If having a family is something important for us, then it's okay to decide to choose a job that is not so ideal for this 'value'. (if let's say your ideal job requires you to sacrifice your family)

- 5 -

This week I really made an effort to list my expenses. I've been trying to be consistent in writing down my expenses, but this time I feel the urgency and importance of seriously doing it because the transition period is coming soon (paying deposit for housing rental, salary will be delayed in your last month of working before your contract renewed, and so on and so forth).

- 6 -

Yesterday I met up with a friend, a student from Christian Fellowship. Really had a nice chat with her. I remember the first time we met our discussion was revolved around why Catholics do this why Catholics do that. But yesterday we talked about all sort of random things about 'why' to some extend but more into how meaningful things are, e.g., how special the Easter Triduum celebration, and she was the one bringing up about the humility of St Thomas Aquinas.

I feel young talking to a student. HAHAHAHA... And I'm so amazed that unlike most people who easily buy tea when we eat outside, she just drinks her own plain water because she says she doesn't want to spend unnecessarily. (and she's a Singaporean!)

Really thank God for a nice relaxing evening to talk about things that we value the most :)

- 7 -

Last night, as I was ironing and listening to Thai songs, (somehow Thai songs become my favorite soundtrack for ironing), I suddenly remember this song. Soundtrack of the first movie Paul and I watched together (ATM!), super funny!!!! The movie is about a couple who worked in a company where romantic relationship between colleagues is not allowed. So this couple was competing to solve the problem of an ATM which dispenses money double of the amount keyed in because none of them wanted to resign. The loser would need to resign from the company.

 More quick takes at Jen's blog!!

Lifestyle

A few days ago I visited a briefing about a travel club.

They say it's worth it to pay $50 per month and you can go cheap trips sooo many times throughout the year. So those who are in the club can travel 6 times per year or even more.

If I went to this travel club meeting a few years ago, I would have joined them. It's sooo 'me'. I like travelling =P

However, even though I genuinely think that their concept is interesting, now I feel that it's not for me. Firstly, it's not my lifestyle anymore, to travel somewhere just because it's cheap to do so. Secondly, the more I think about it, the more I feel that this travel club creates unnecessary necessities. Do we really need to travel once a year? It's so 'normal' here, in Singapore. People travel a lot! I've even met kindergarten children who have been to Japan.

As time goes by, your lifestyle changes :) Yes you may be young and not-married yet, but it doesn't mean that you MUST live life to the 'fullest' according to other people's standard. I think people can live life to the fullest without making travelling once a year 'a must'. Yes, we can travel for a purpose, for a recreation, but there's no need to force it. :)

The funny thing is, the day after I went to the travel club meeting, I met my financial planner. I am considering to have life insurance now. It was not my priority before. However, after I interviewed a number of elderly for my research, I realized that the government pension is not enough. I don't believe in such thing as yes, we must depend on ourselves in our old age. I have trust in God and in my future family. Nevertheless, I think we need to do our small part too, be it savings or insurance or whatsoever (disclaimer: I am not an insurance agent). Managing our money well is part of our responsibility as a family member.

Back to this lifestyle topic, I was talking to my boyfriend to 'complain' how difficult it is to be in-between. We are singles, but we are not like other singles because we have other commitments. Sometimes perhaps it's easier to excuse ourselves from this-travel-three-times-a-year-lifestyle by saying "Oh, my status: married" or "Oh, but my kids...." However, to be singles and say, "No, I have other commitments" make people have question mark, "What kind of other commitments can hinder you from this lifestyle if you are not married?"

I guess now I start to see the crosses of couples who are well-to-do. Some people have this thought, "oh, they have many kids because they are rich. See their car, or their house." Now after meeting some couples that I also think 'well-to-do', I've realized that they've made conscious choices to sacrifice A LOT to be generous. One of these couples have never had vacation overseas for 20 years. (disclaimer: compare this couple with other people in Singapore where it's so normal to travel overseas). They also do not send their kids to tuition centre. (again, the 'culture' of Singapore is each kid must go to tuition centre if you want them to excel academically and not lose from other people). And........they even refuse to take up higher position that pay them better because the position will steal the time from their family. (Again...imagine how much richer they can be if they make the opposite choice AND choose not to be opened to life).

Furthermore, imitating my dad, he always told us, NEVER judge people from their situation NOW. If you see them successful NOW, imagine their situation 15 years ago.

What kind of lifestyle would you like to have?
~~~Quoting Fr Richards, the choice is yours =P

When action is required...

I would like to write this post as a reminder for me and for other people who sometimes feel the pinch of the so-called 'sacrifice'.

=)

As my spiritual director says, it is normal to feel the pinch, but don't look back.

I think this is very important. I remember that two years ago, when I said 'yes' to date my current boyfriend, I know my world will be upside down (I thought it is only something that people say in movie or in wedding speech to make things sound sweet, but apparently it's not). My world is literally upside down now, in a positive way.

There was one night, early in our relationship, I was skyping with my boyfriend because he returned to Singapore after a short visit to Indonesia. I was thinking very hard after short and long conversation with my mom, and somehow I reached a conclusion to tell him this one line, "I would like to let go of my dream for you."

It's not easy to say, and it's even harder to do in small moment and big moment.

Fast forward, it's almost been two years of our courtship. Now I really see and feel what that one line means and its impact on me and on both of us.

So when action is required, it's not easy, but it is worthwhile. Yes, it is worthwhile.
I am fully aware of the choice that I have made and the choice that I will make.
So here comes the role of prayer and sacraments, and also spiritual direction. No one, no one can survive without these things. Temptation to look back is there, but how much we want to entertain the temptation is another story. I also believe that eventually God will grant us more graces to be wise in the choices that we'll make, but I need to ask for this grace. I need to tell Our Lord, "Hey, you want me to do this right? But I'm weak, please help me."

When action is required, as a priest told me yesterday, "Ask God to sign the 'contract' " If it's His will, ask Him to 'sign' and things will turn out alright. :)