The Five-Minute Writer - Day 3 - life and kerupuk

Day 3 - connect a concrete noun with an abstract concept

The author asked us to list some concrete nouns and connect them with some abstract concepts.

Concrete nouns

Crackers (Kerupuk)

Kettle

Water bottle

Car

Abstract concept

Life

Hunger

Happiness

Marriage

Life is like a kerupuk. We can just go through it without paying attention to details, or we can be like my grandma, so particular about choosing female fish over male fish to be made into kerupuk (I think it’s female, I need to check with her). According to her, the taste is nicer when she chooses the female fish. When we are mindful on what’s going on in our life, we actually enjoy life more! Sometimes unexpected things happen to our life, just like the kerupuk. Like cats coming to visit dried dough of kerupuk, or cloudy weather that makes our kerupuk unable to dry properly. When we let the heat and the oil burn as we deep fry the kerupuk, it expands and becomes crunchy. Just how our life blossoms in the little heat of suffering here and there.

When I start to feel hungry, I imagine the bubble start forming as it boils in the kettle. I often ignore it initially, but the push of steam can’t be ignored and eventually makes  the kettle whistle. Just like how I end up snapping at people.

Disclaimer: I borrow this analogy from a priest advising about marriage!

Marriage is like buying a new car. The gears need to adjust with each other and you really feel the friction when all the parts are trying to get used to each other. It gets better with time as you use the car and take care of the car. Things become smoother but you need to keep using it and let the parts adjust to each other.

Happiness is like a water bottle. We can’t share the water with others if the bottle is empty. It needs to be filled with the right temperature of our choice. One may choose cold water but maybe for me it is the room temperature water that makes me feel satisfied. Over the years our definition of happiness becomes unique. Just like even though my water bottle is the same with my student’s, I’ve realised mine still has the plastic packaging over the body of the water bottle and my student’s connector between the cap and the body has been broken. Though travel does make me happy, I manage to find happiness in having less money, do less travel, and reading library books during vacation. (Of course I still thrive to save up to travel next time, hahaha)

The Five-Minute Writer - Day 2 - List

The book suggested me to make some lists, but I am going to make my own list this time. Here is one list that came to my mind.

Things to do by 31 December

1. Play with my niece. So far we have made some paper crafts and we tried five minute silent reading. The goal is to extend it to 15 minutes by end of December! I also want to use this time to try new art or craft techniques for my work next year
2. Finish reading the book The Garden of Evening Mists
3. Do the Five-Minute Writer daily
4. Study more about Sensory Processing Disorder. I am currently reading The Ultimate Guide of Sensory Processing Disorder by Roya Ostovar. I would like to take notes too as my goal is to be able to explain well  to people who are unfamiliar about sensory processing issues.
5. Work on some database work that I need to settle for my voluntary work
6. Make new year resolutions and reading list for 2019. This time I need to think carefully how I can get the books and check if the National Library has them.
7. Read another fiction from my 2018 reading list
8. Start jogging again

The Five-Minute Writer - Day 1 - Rituals

My vacation has just started and I have been wanting to do something meaningful this vacation. So I load up my eBook loans on my OverDrive and found “The Five-minute Writer” by Margret Geraghty.
Since I have not been posting anything for the past year, this is a good chance to write again! The author has only around three pages in one chapter and the chapter ends with an exercise to write.

Day 1 Rituals

I have never iron a man’s long sleeve shirt until I got married recently. I turned my husband’s shirt many times and ironed it, yet I found crumples here and there. So I found my solace in Youtube and I watched a particular video two or three times till I remembered the order of ironing the shirt: the collar, the sleeves, the shoulders, the back, and the front; do not forget to iron between the buttons. I make sure the water is always filled full in the steam iron so I can iron the pile of laundry without running out of water in the middle. Oh well, I still run out of water with a few of pieces of clothing left to be ironed. My ironing skill is still not perfect, but I think I’m getting faster. I switch a few favourite things to do while I iron the clothes: from listening to our wedding reception songs to listening to a podcast by Laura Vanderkam on career and family. Disclaimer: my husband does not torture me to do laundry, but he has been the one cooking and preparing breakfast so I think it is right and just for me to iron only once or twice a week!

Running Diary #2 - My First Full Marathon

Full Marathon was a totally different ball game. I cried a bit after I finished because my legs were just so painful. Also, I did not feel immediate satisfying feeling as I finished my half-marathon. The first thing that came to my mind when I finished the marathon was: "Pain!!" "Horrible." "Literally running while aching for the second half of the marathon."

The journey felt lonely at the beginning. I was separated from my friend because of the different pen and different baggage deposit point. I also did not manage to meet Paul first as he arrived much later and still needed to queue for the baggage deposit. At the end I felt it may be a good thing as my friend and I had quite different running styles, and I should not run with Paul because I need to run slower than him to survive the full marathon.

I felt really happy with my first half of the marathon though. I really gained confidence in running half-marathon again. I used the first 3km just as a warm up and I looked at my watch and aim for each km. Bumped into Paul at the 10th km, and felt quite happy to run together a bit before the half- and full-marathon route were split 2km later. Once I passed the 21km, I felt my legs ached, then left ankle started to hurt, then the pain disappeared and right calf was super stiff. I told myself I really wanted to run pass through the finish line, so I walked a few hundred meters-ran-walked along the East Coast Park to lessen the stiffness. It was the hardest part (21-30km), as it was sooo hot and even though the water point was only around 2km apart from each other, it felt so long. My mouth felt so dry. Since I passed the 21km, I drank 1 cup of water + 2 cups of isotonic drink in each drinking point.

However, around the 26th km, I realised that my pain was worsened as I walked, so I tried to jog again super slowly and I told myself, "Hey, I can do this for the next 16km", and that kept me running. I still walked here and there, but not as bad as the first part. I did not look at my watch anymore, and I just tried to finish 1km after another offering up the pain for different intentions. What I did was as I ran passing through different areas, I recalled friends who were related to the buildings. Like when I passed near the Cecil Street in the first half, I offered up that km for my dance buddy because there is a dance studio nearby.

When I passed 39km, I saw Paul at the bus stop! I innocently asked, "Are you going home??" =P (of course he dare not!) He told me not to be deceived as it was still a long way to go, so after he took my smiley photo (the most smiley photo I had throughout the marathon), I decided to walk a bit again.

I think why I didn't feel so satisfied after this marathon was I really wish I had trained more. My longest run was only 16km, and unlike the half-marathon training, I did not manage to build the weekly mileage as the marathon fell straight after the busiest three weeks of end-of-term. However, I am so grateful that I survived. It felt so daunting to see people limping and hear the siren of the ambulance here and there as I ran. I told myself that I will just run marathon once in a while, definitely not every year =P

However, after I saw the result of the marathon, I felt quite happy! I finished in 06:05:43, I was slow but I was quite surprised that just by jogging slowly after 21km, my relative position increased bit by bit. The long run training really helps. When I ran the last 16km, I told myself, "Oh it won't be that bad. It's just like how Paul and I trained from his house to MacRitchie and round and back." For the last 7km, I told myself that it was only the distance between my office and Novena MRT.

It was an interesting experience. I am really motivated to go half-marathon again. As for full-marathon, hmmm, it's really a sacrifice =P So I guess I may not go every year. Firstly, I've seen some people who have knee problems due to running marathon in the past, so I'm quite worried, even though I know friends who run marathon regularly. Secondly, the long run training really takes up our climbing routine :( So unless I am more disciplined to climb another day and run on Sundays, it's a really hard to do both.

I think the biggest lesson for me was it was really a push for myself, mentally and physically. It's very rare that I push myself. I'm quite an easy-to-whine person. I used to complain even though I just ran for 3km. The last time I did push myself was dance camp 5 or 6 years ago. Since then I never pushed myself this much. It might sound crazy but to learn to endure the pain and keep going is a good training. This marathon is not an end, but another training ground. At least from now on I will have more reason not to complain and whine too much if I wear high heels for too long. It's nothing compared to the second half of a full-marathon. Also, it motivates me to really train better and build mileage better next time :) As I really felt my ache came later compared to the half-marathon in which the ache came at the 15th km.

I thank God for this experience :) It was a nice closure for 2017, to have both my first half- and full-marathon.

Living my life as if there's nothing certain in this world (oh well, there are few certain things I guess)

Some of you know that I'm signing up for Standard Chartered Marathon (yes, full marathon).
When I do my long run training (which is behind schedule), I often drag myself and ask, "Oh man why did I sign up for this???"

I remember that my running buddy and I registered for super early bird price after the euphoria of our first half-marathon in April. It was a great experience and there was a sense of achievement.

and trada...this is the relationship between the title and and marathon:
It gave me a sense of achievement and a certainty.

When you work, there's no target for exam grade anymore.
You can't really target for how much salary increment you wanna have.
You can't have a super specific target in your family life. My friend's mom has been bugging her to get pregnant soon, but seriously, you don't know how fast the baby will come! And I've seen many friends who can't have children (that's why I stop asking people "When are you going to have kids?").
People who are engaged can break up too! Once my parents received an invitation for a wedding in Bali, tickets were booked, but the wedding was called off and my parents ended up going to Bali for a holiday.


But seriously, there's nothing certain in marathon too. Maybe it'll rain, maybe there's an accident, or...so that I don't sound too negative, maybe I will run faster than my target. When I first did my half-marathon, I was not sure if I would be okay because I heard cases of people die in the afternoon after the half-marathon. So I went for confession the day before the race and before I took nap, I asked my friend to call me a few hours later to check if I was still alive. Hehehe.

There's nothing certain in this world, except God's love :)
Except God's love.. Isn't it beautiful?

All the love and beauty on this world is just a tiny reflection of His love.

Unfortunately sometimes I'm caught up with focusing on this tiny reflection.
Isn't it amazing if I try to live with this awareness of God is the most important person in my life, rain or shine? Rather than waiting for things to fail, break down, or scramble before I live with this awareness.

There is nothing certain in this world, except God's love.

The difficulties of accepting God's will

Hello,

We're halfway through 2017!!

Today I'd like to share about the topic of doing God's will. I'm really inspired by people around me whom I've perceived as one who can accept God's will (that can be difficult) cheerfully, like many couples who can't conceive children or couples who have children with certain challenges such as special needs or physical challenges.

However, despite these examples, I (still) find it hard to accept God's will. I try to convince myself that I've been blessed with many many things, yet it's still difficult to accept some of His will.

Have you ever walked in the dark? Recently in the girls' camp with a girls' club, we did a game called the Blindman's Trail. The girls were blindfolded and they formed a long line, with just a few girls who were not blindfolded and they guided the rest of the girls. As a facilitator, my job was just to make sure that the girls did not roll down the stairs or something like that. The girls were supposed to walk quietly, but of course having been blindfolded, it was uncomfortable for them and they were complaining or yelling sometimes (especially when the girls who were not blindfolded tried to trick them).

As a bystander, I was just repeatedly telling them to keep quiet according to the instruction.

However, now I think I kinda now what they felt.

I feel I'm blindfolded now.

In my head, I know that God will lead me to a safe place, yet in my heart, I really feel uncomfortable and I'm tired (even though my job is supposed to be just follow the trail). I heard clearly that God wants me to trust him in the trail, but I felt it's just so tough to accept it.

I don't like it, as much as I want to accept His will, now I'm in a stage of feeling tired and I hope the blindfold will be opened soon.

So what to do?

Again, I'm reminded by the example of Montse Grase that has been mentioned many times during the camp. She accepted God's will cheerfully (she was diagnosed with a bone cancer when she was 17).

Help me, Lord :) Amen!

Running Diary #1 - my first half-marathon

Hi,

I've disappeared from this blog for months. I have been writing my thoughts and reflections about relationship and marriage for this website. It is a project supported by Family Life Society and Family Enrichment Society. My friends and I have been involved in this project for almost a year. I find it challenging to keep writing regularly after my super-energetic-work (aka jumping on trampoline, dancing, and teaching young children), so when I have the time and ideas to write, I devote them for the project.

Two weeks ago my friends and I completed our first half-marathon NTUC Income Eco Run. It was a great experience for me, and the result was better than I expected as I could still walk around (though very slowly) and laughed a lot and alive. I was worried that I would die after the race because I heard there was a case long time ago when a girl was okay after running half-marathon but then died in the afternoon. So I asked my boyfriend to message me in the afternoon just to check if I was still alive. I was also anxious that my legs would terribly ache or I would injure myself that I couldn't work after the public holiday, as there's no spare teacher in my school (and we had a colleague who needed to use crutches after a race before).

Anyway, the experience was good, so I thought it would be nice to write a little reflection or diary just to cheer me up a few years down the road.

I've never been a sporty person. Those who know me after 2012 may see me as a sporty person: rock-climbing, running, trekking, but I was always the last person who was picked up during PE lesson because I could not catch the ball properly. During basketball or volleyball game during PE lesson, I also preferred to chat (yes, in Indonesia you have the option to do that) or sit down and revise materials for the test in the next hour. Woohoo!

I only run more than 200 meters when I came to Singapore in 2008 and joined Eusoff Hall. As part of my orientation programme, the Eusoff Freshmen and the Orientation Committee and Orientation Group Leaders (OGLs) ran around NUS - I guess 5km? I wanted to die!!! I hated it, though I loved the part when we sang "Eusoff Eusoff"when we passed the competitor neighbour hall. The following year, I needed to do it again because I was in the orientation committee, I didn't even running the whole route because I was helping out at the water point. I vomited when we reached Eusoff Hall again. I only ran regularly in 2011 when I joined Mountaineering. As expected, I was always the last or second last person who finished the jog. But I started to like running because the Mountaineering people were so nice. Some of them would run back halfway to accompany us who were always dying at the end. I ran on my own outside training time hoping that I would not always end up as the few last persons, though I didn't do it regularly.

Even when I started running more regularly after graduation (definition: once in two or three months), I had stitch easily and I spent 30 minutes to run 2.4km? I signed up for Run-NUS two years ago and ran 5km in one hour -- just for fun. So when my friends asked me if I wanted to sign up for this half-marathon, I said Yes, without having run 10km before. She said, "Are you sure?" and some other friends said that I'm crazy. We signed up in November.

I'm a stubborn person and once my friend said, the good thing about being a stubborn person is you can change if you want it. So I started slowly (thanks to my patient boyfriend *clap clap*), from 3km, 5km, and I hit my first 10km in January. I was seriously worried that I (or my friends - but they are more ready for a run than me) may die because of the race, so since February, I really tried to train two to three times a week and kinda pushed my friends to train together. Now that I looked back, the best part of the half-marathon was the training with my friends, who are my colleagues! Those days when we would "scream" to each other - "5.30, 5.30, it's time to go home. We need to run now if we want to have time to run." Or another day when we were so tired after work that we decided to walk for a few minutes, that were extended to a few more minutes until we passed one MRT, and did a short run instead of a planned long run.

The hardest part of the half-marathon was after 15km, especially after 18km. I saw the sign 21km at the opposite side (it was a U-turn path) and told my friend "Wow, we are almost there!", then we realised a loooooooong way that we still needed to pass before we reached the opposite side. Now I understand why people always like to use the marathon run or mountain trekking to talk about spiritual journey. The part towards the end is the hardest.

Some friends asked what's so fun about running half-marathon?
I think for me it gives me a sense of achievement and the training gives me a lot of time to think and reflect. It has forced me to really exercise regularly (remember that I was so worried that I will die or injure myself?). At the same time, it helps to understand my body and remind myself that just like mountaineering, it is perfectly okay to stop if my body cannot take it. It also helps me to see that my work situation is not bad. I always thought that my working hours are long. Well, my working hours are still long, but they still enable me to have time to do something else (i.e., exercising) and have a quality time with my boyfriend and my friends.

Yes, I was conscious about the camera and thus was able to give a BIG smile!