Why I was filled with angst when we talked about "psychology and HRD"

My mom, my Church friend, my acquintance, here and there always repeat the same thing, "If you only study psychology as bachelor degree holder, most likely you will be employed at HRD" (Human Resource Department). Every time I heard this, I always felt angry, anxious, and sad. Firstly, we learn lots of things in psychology that can also be applied in other jobs. Secondly, people who have this thought usually still have the misconception that "psychology graduates can read mind". However, these people who said these things also have a common answer, "This is the fact of life in Indonesia. Either you become a teacher or an HRD." (Well, I don't mind being a teacher. I'd love to be a teacher).

After I left this thought to sleep last night, I woke up with an 'insight'. There's nothing wrong with working as HR. But the thing that made me feel sad and angry was the lack-of-options and the mentality of "end-up" working as xyz. Firstly, although a job as research assistant sounds cool, other people can also say that I "end up" as 'only' an RA. Although a job as housewife is difficult, many people now also like to say that "Xyz works hard to study architecture and "end up" as 'only' being a housewife. We can't judge other people. However, according to my high school friend, our other common friend chose to be HR because, "The offer comes first." We can't judge how much she has explored other opportunities that goes according to her passion. My high school friend said, "Da, it's very difficult to be a therapist or a teacher here. There are so few places where you can work and you might not get good supervision too."

If I like to be HR, then go for it! I'm used to this mentality that 'among-not-so-many-ideal-jobs-available', I'm sure we can find some vacancies of 'almost-ideal-job'. Sadly, this may not be the case, be it in Singapore or in Indonesia. I'm not sure whether I should have put the word "sadly" there. This is the fact of life right? But I really hate it when my dad said, "You want to have high ideals, you can live in Indo." Initially I thought, "Well, who am I to say whether I can or cannot live in Indo? The fact is I don't live in Indonesia." But now I contemplate it again in think, actually, wherever you are, there are always challenges and it's true that it's hard to have ideals, but still.. we must push to the max to live up this high ideal.

Yes, we need to manage our expectations. We need to balance between the ideals and be realistic. (e.g., you need a minimum salary to feed your family). But I would love to remind myself that I can push my boundaries! We can push our limit!! We MUST have ideals. Even if I only work as an RA, I see value in my job and I need to advance myself with whatever I have now. Even though only a little bit, a little bit, like the baby's steps. Even if my friend works as HR, she should see the value of the work as HR. Even if I work as housewife, I see the value of being a housewife.

Am I talking nonsense?
What can I do? Hhhhh..

Sorry, just need to throw these things out of my mind

How to spend quality time with my grandma

When my maternal grandma passed away, I regret that I didn't spend enough time with her. Since then I learn to appreciate my paternal grandma more. Sometimes I tried to call her from Singapore and I tried not to go out too often when I'm at home so I can spend time at home with her.

So..here are some stuff that may be useful for you if you're thinking how to spend quality time with your grandma:
1. Cook with her!
Today I tried to fry her kerupuk. Quite fun!

2. Be 'stupid' and ask her many things
I saw her drying pork with pepper outside our house. Then I asked her, "You use pepper because Dad likes pepper?" Apparently she used pepper to get rid of the flies because flies don't like pepper! Hahaha.

3. Follow her interest and don't complain if she repeats the same story
Somehow last year my grandma started talking about her love story. Her first love, her second love, my grandpa's love to her, and so on and so forth. Perhaps because she missed my late grandma.
Today she repeated the same story, but yeah.. just listen to her. And talk to her too about your love story. It's quite fun! Hahaha.

4. Sleep with her
We sleep on the same bed. Hehehe.

5. Play traditional game with her
I did this with my late maternal grandma. We used to play congklak together

6. Learn a language from her
I learned Mandarin a bit from my maternal grandma and asked some Hakka words to my paternal grandma

7. Additional point for grandpa: ask about "history in real life"
I used to ask my late paternal grandpa about how things were like during 1960s when the Communist Party was in power.

There was one photo on facebook that was shared by my friends. It was written somewhere along this line. "You've grown up. Don't forget that your parents are growing old too." This applies to our grandparents too. So yeah... be thankful that they're still with us and pray for them if they have passed on :) ps. you can ask their souls to pray for you too!

How to spend quality time with my brother

The unique thing about Nic, Pril, Nyz, and me is all of us have a younger brother and our younger brothers are only 1 year apart from each other. Well, it's kinda tough to relate with my brother. He only whatsapp or message me when he needs something and so do I! But this vacation, I have learned some stuff that may inspire us to spend quality time with our brothers:

1. Watch movie together
Apparently my brother likes to copy files of movie from his friends. I watched "You are the apple of my eye", a Taiwanese movie, with him two days ago.

2. Watch video clips that have pretty girls in the videos *duh* (e.g., Taylor Swift, SNSD, T-ara, etc.)
I've never known that my brother likes Korean stars. One day, he said, "Excuse me, can you move somewhere? I'm going to exercise (push-ups, pull-ups, etc.). Then, he played his collection of videos and did push-ups and watched those video clips at the same time.

3. Exercise together (arggghh..)
He'll force me to do 3 sets of fifteen leg-raise >.< arrrgggh!!

4. Buy gadget together
Just walk with him to the phone store and he'll act like my dad asking the salesman on the features of each phone.

5. Ask him to accompany you learn driving
Well, this one needs patience from both sides. Thank God he didn't complain anything during the lesson. However, after the lesson he will say things like "When I learned driving, after 2 sessions I could steer properly already!" or "You know, you don't feel it when you sit at the front, but when you sit behind like me, I want to vomit because you don't drive through the humps properly" >.< Nevermind...he's quite nice to accompany me to learn driving at 7am each morning! (it's vacation and I wake up earlier than Nic!! duhhh..)

6. Ask him to drive you everywhere
I would say that he's grown up already this year because he doesn't complain too much when I ask him to drive me to meet my friend, to go to Church, to do this, to do that. Hahaha.

7. Ask his opinion about new dress
His taste is not too bad. When boyfriend is not around, a brother is a good replacement to test your personal taste of fashion.

Hope you have a good time with your brother!! :)

Vacation diary :)

What have I done the past few days:

1. Learned driving
2. Played piano
3. Fried the bakwan jagung and prawn (I was not involved in the making of the dough :P)
4. Edited my CVs
5. Learned some new English vocabularies
6. Wrote diary
7. Opened bank account
8. Shopped!!
9. Browsed grad schools

What a productive vacation :D

Hehehehe..

St Stephen

Today is the feast day of St Stephen. The first martyr.
What is the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word "martyr"? To die defending my faith?

The thing that struck me the most from the Gospel reflection today is the challenge to be martyr every day, to have courage to carry my cross every day. It's difficult! Especially the part to be 'courageous'.


It's difficult to have the courage to ask my brother's help to drive me for Mass (I have not been able to attend daily Mass here).
It's difficult to have the courage to stop watching movie in the middle to do my prayer (hahaha.. It's very hard to do your norms of piety at home in holiday mood!!)
It's difficult to have the courage to excuse myself for a while to say the Angelus (or to ask my friends to join me saying the Angelus)

I guess Joyce is right. The devil never takes holidays so we should keep presence of God even in our holidays and being away from our normal situation is a test how we can try our best to do our norms and to keep having our daily appointment with God. It takes courage to do this little things in a situation in which other people not do the same things.

St. Stephen, pray for us.
 

Autistic Kids vs. Kids with Autism

Hello! How often have you heard the terms 'autistic kids' or 'schizophrenic patients'? One thing I remember the most from my first abnormal psychology class was not to label other people by using the name of psychological disorder as an adjective. Since then, I have learned to say "kids with autism" or "individuals with schizophrenia". Surprisingly, when I took more advanced classes such as Child Abnormal Psychology, there were still people who mention 'schizophrenic patients' or 'autistic kids' in their presentation.

What's the big deal?

Well, we should separate the individuals with the disorder that they experience. It is important to see Anne or Tom as a kid, not an autistic kid. Yes he or she may have autism, but in the first place, we should look at him or her as a child, just like any other child. Then in terms of intervention or special education, of course we should take note of his or her condition, which is autism.

So yeah.. never call someone 'autistic kid' again, okay? :)

Sounds at home

When I was awake this morning, I felt so grateful that I could hear my dogs barking and my mom talking. I felt so grateful that I heard the "Sari Roti" (a brand of bread) seller going around my housing complex. This morning I came to understand why it's very hard for my friend to leave her bed in the morning. Home is really the best place where you can be. Nothing can replace your own bed at home!! Hahaha..

I love home. I love my mom's scolding when I held her arms with my wet hands :P I love my mom's nagging to make me drink all types of vitamin, milk, and aloe vera. I love my dad's "huh huh" reply while he's in
his own world hahaha. I love the fact that my brother acted like my dad when he asked various phone features at the phone store.

I love the fact that I miss home when I'm in Singapore. Missing home is a good sign :) A good sign of how homey your home is. My family is not perfect and I thank God for this imperfection.

I love my home. So much!!