My Mom

My mom is the one who always defends me in front of other people. When I was high school, when other parents asked my mom, how she let me, who was from science stream, went overseas ONLY to study psychology, she said, "Ohh now you have lots of stressed people. You need lots of psychologists." This afternoon when I complained how some people see that I'm taking 'useless' modules, my mom said that even though neighbors wandered why I study Thai instead of Chinese language, my mom said, "It's knowledge and it's unique. She likes it and I know it'll be useful." When I told her my worry and other "what-if questions", she said, "Just open your eyes. It doesn't matter whether at the end you do clinical psychology or not. It doesn't matter if you turn round-round-and-round till at the end you've found what you really like. It's okay to change interest. It's okay if you choose to expert in cultural stuff rather than psychology. Your decision is in your hand, but do ask God about it. I can only give advice, but you choose what you like."

My mom will hug me when I cry. Ohhh this is the thing that I miss the most. Sometimes there are cold nights here, I can't deny that 'bottled sunshine' can have cloudy moments. Let's say when I'm stressed of school work, or other CCA stuff (eg during NUANSA) or problems with friends or what, it used to be so easy. I just needed to crawl to her room and I just cried and hugged her. She's very wise and understanding. She can be hyperactive too (like mother like daughter :P), but that's what is funny about her. I remember a few days when I 'almost' broke up, I cried a lot in her room and she said, "Don't worry. Think about it like taking English course. You finish one level and now go up to the next level." I giggled a bit when I cried. I mean, who gave an analogy of breaking up with English course??? Hahahaha.

My mom is a strong woman. The more I grow up, the more I contemplate on how I was such a bad girl and how she's very patient. I was (am? dunno :P) very stubborn. When I was angry, I would slam the door. When I didn't want to do something, I would stomp my foot and walked away. She's patient, but she's firm with me. If she said "No!", it just means "No!". When I was Primary 6, she gave me a small book for diary, told me to write my feelings there, not to throw my anger to my grandma (I still keep the diary hahaha). In our family, we also have problems, stuff that I can't write here, even until now, but she's there. She keeps praying, she keeps cheerful, she NEVER blames God.

Most of the times, she knows what I want to talk about before I mention it. Most of the times, if she said "Don't do this," if me or my bro keeps doing it, sth bad happens. She knows I like to scrutinize little things in my head, she knows I like to worry too much, but she's never bored encouraging me, saying the same thing over and over again even though sometimes I comment in a bad manner, "Mom, u dunno how it feels..." But I guess she knows..she understands..

I love the fact that I can talk about many things to my mom. I can say that nothing I can hide from my mom: From school to work, on faith, even about guys (not all girls can talk to their mom openly about guys). I know her love story, she told me her 7-year-RCIA-journey, she told me her happiness, her disappointment when she was young, her idealism, what thing I should hope and not hope, hahaha. One thing I 'envy' her, I can't bake cake (my mom said, I should TRY, she said that my problem is I don't know whether I can do it or not because I DON'T try) :P