How hard it is to be humble

When someone asked me, “Do you like India? How’s living in India so far?” I always answer, “Good!” or “I like India” or “I’m having a great time here”. However, I will also tell some people that life here is not easy and sometimes the biggest challenge doesn’t come from India per se, but it comes from my own non-Indian group. Hmm, let me correct this. It comes from myself regarding the relation with my fellow interns.

In these few days, I have been avoiding a particular person. Because we are always clustered together, of course my avoidance is not obvious. It’s more into talking less and trying to keep myself ‘alone’ even though I’m together with this person. Somehow most of the time that we spend to talk, I feel uncomfortable at the end and I do not feel the connection.

Initially I thought it’s because of the lack of chemistry between us, but after a while, I think it’s because of the problem of humility, it is very hard to be humble and now I am really struggling with it. Started with the lack of chemistry, I’ve realized that every time we have a normal chat, I will end up having this automatic response in my head, “It’s not like what you think” or “No, you are wrong, I’m the right one” or “How can you say that?? I know better than you because you do not experience certain things that I experience” and the biggest indicator of the lack of humility is when this person pointed out my mistakes, I gave excuses and I DID NOT say sorry. 

Someone said, the most difficult words to say is “Thank you” and “Sorry”. I guess it’s true. When you say ‘thank you’, you really appreciate that another party has done something helpful and useful which means that you indirectly acknowledge the person’s contribution to your life. When you say ‘sorry’, you acknowledge that you are wrong, you have mistakes, and the other person is correct, and you also intend to repent.

So when I realize that I’m not 100% sincere when I say ‘Thank you’ and I even do not say thanks for this person’s suggestion PLUS I do not even apologize when I make mistakes, I realize something is wrong here. It’s very hard to have humility, a virtue that is commonly discussed when we talk about Mother Mary because she’s a perfect example of humility. 

Mother Mary, help me to be humble like you.... Amen..

I guess the experience in India is a great lesson on humility...