"me - time"

I think it's a term that was commonly used in a teen magazine. "me - time", time for myself, to sit back, relax, and reflect on things that have been going on.

I guess these days, I've been lacking of "me - time". I have time alone, but not reflecting. I keep myself 'busy': ironing, washing, mopping, sleeping, but I forgot to do things that give me opportunities to calm down and have a total rest. I was so happy that last Thursday I managed to touch my parchment craft again. Two days ago I also repack my stuff (ready to move out - again) and found unfinished cross-stitch since last year and a new cross-stitch that I have not touched. I have not been running again, I have not gone climbing, and I have not written my diary and my blog for quite some time. I also have not touched my camera since I came back from India.

Thank God that I have people around me that remind me to have time for God and to do charity for other people, and to meet up with friends and have a relaxing Sunday (e.g., cooking with Sharmini :) ). If not? I think I'll be crazy!! Hehehe..

We can be saints!

I don't know why somehow me and Paul talked about how we see the members of Opus Dei as living saints. It's difficult to be holy, but it's possible to live holiness in this world! Then suddenly I mentioned, "Oh if you become a saint, you're going to be patron saint of crab." Then he said, "No. Patron saint for animal behaviorist." So, I'm wondering, when I (hopefully) become a saint one day, I'm going to be patron saint to whom. Then Paul said, "For clumsy people." I was like..." >.< whattt". Then I thought, ehh..St Joseph of Cupertino used to be slow and failed in exams, but anyway now he's patron saint for students facing examinations! So yeah..perhaps one day I can be patron saint of clumsy people. Hahaha.

Anyway, I think it's very beautiful to live with the eyes focusing on God and Heaven! I wish I could always remember this. Worries, problems, and stress are always there, but eventually these might be the tools that God used to sanctify us. Last Saturday, instead of attending meditation at Opus Dei centre, I went to Novena church. Then, the priest talked about "over-worried and insecurity", exactly what I felt for the past days in that week. God reminded me through what the priest said, "Imitate Mary who walks by faith."

I was really tempted to think that it's superduper difficult and kinda hopeless to be a good person. As much as God is merciful and ready to forgive us, other people might have difficulties doing that. I was so desperate sometimes. I want to move on! Fr Mario told me, "Don't be obsessed with your mistakes. Get up and move on!" But...in this process, I forgot the fact that the effect of my mistake might be sooo bad on other people and as human, they also need time to heal the wound. It's painful to wait until someone not angry with you again, but quoting my friend, Dom, "We should accept when things do not go as we expect." It's a miracle. Once I accepted that, it's much much easier to move on, to wait, and to be genuinely interested in other people's concern rather than busy worrying about myself.

So yeah..this process of being saint is so painful sometimes. When I was down there, it's hard to remember that things will be better, it's hard to be gentle, and it's hard to be humble, to keep caring despite unfriendly response from other people.

But that's why it is called a 'struggle'. :)

Happy Post

I'm happy for my best friend who will study in China next year
I'm happy for my RA friend who worked with my thesis supervisor last year, she finally got in NUS Clinical Psychology

:)