Monday, March 6, 2017

Lenten Note #2: I want to change the world!

Once I asked my friend, have you ever wanted to change the world??

I do!!

Before I came to Singapore, my dream was to quickly complete my degree in NUS, fulfill the three-year-bond in Singapore(note: this work bond doesn't mean that you're guaranteed a job), then come back to Indonesia to serve my country. I want to change the way things are in my country.

Here I am, entering fifth year of working and I'm still here in Singapore.

Every time I go back to Indonesia, I think more about what else I can do for my country.
Oh, I used to want to build schools for poor people. I don't know how I'm going to do it now, but it's something that I keep in my heart.

The dream is still there, but I think, the formation that I've received has taught me that one way to change the world is by changing my own self, and that is the hardest thing to do (cough cough: eg how hard it is to declutter my own room and how difficult it is to wake up on the dot without snoozing).

Although I do not contribute directly to my country, I truly believe that being here has a good influence for my family. For example, three years doing research has taught me not to be content with the standard in Indonesia. I can share with my friends about what is a research standard in Singapore and I encourage my friends to pursue a higher standard. Working with children with special needs here has also helped me to have a dialogue with my mom to understand the children better. I'm so happy that I can tell my mom that I see and experience how children with special needs can live with dignity, and that we should give a good education for them too.

I won't stop dreaming. I still want to change the world, though it may not mean that I need to do something big or extraordinary.

Do you want to change the world? :)

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Lenten Note #1: Have I given everything?

Was it a few days ago or last week that we read the parable of the rich young man? I can't remember.
Anyway, there are moments when I'm asking myself, "Have I really given everything to the Lord?" When I'm super tired, I sometimes complain to God, oh God I think you're really squeezing everything out of me already. However, there's a little whisper there, "Really? Everything?"

One of the things that is the most difficult for me to let go is my personal plan. I'm one of those who feels really insecure when I can't see what's next. I love to plan. Let me repeat, I LOVE to plan. I'm thinking in a quarter or six months, and I have this yearly view of important dates within this year. Unfortunately, not everything can be planned that far. It's still difficult for me to have that faith of knowing something last minute, or having last minute changes. That's why little sickness like cough or flu really disturbs me. I don't like changes. I want to be in control.

I don't say that planning is not important, it is indeed very important. However, I would really hope that I'm less agitated when things don't go according to my plan. Let's try :)