A reminder about death

It's always mentioned in the prayer books, in recollections, or retreats. Meditations during November particularly talked about 'the Last Things'.

This year has been a surprising year for me. One of the passengers in the missing MH370 is the husband of my housemate's friend. It seems such a far connection. Nevertheless, it was shocking for us because my housemate just attended this friend's wedding  a month before that. One of the passengers in MH17, which was shot down, was my boyfriend's labmate's sister. Thus, he saw his labmate crying in the lab once she heard the news.

I saw the news about the missing Air Asia plane on TV yesterday morning as I was meeting up with my best friends. My first thought was, "Hey, I have lots of friends from Surabaya". I was a bit worried, and one of my friends said that I could check the passenger list. After I reached home in the evening, I still felt a bit restless, so I searched the passenger list. I've never bothered about 'passenger list' after reading a news, but this time, it felt so close. So there I saw my senior's name. I checked her facebook wall and saw people writing posts for her, expressing prayers for her safety.

Another friend posted, "One of the Air Asia passengers is a friend of mine. We are not the closest of friends, yet it hurts, it hurts." It does hurt. The feeling is like a domino-effect. Not only we know her, but we also know her brother and her boyfriend. Even though we just met for a "hi" "bye", I always know her as a senior who is very good in playing guitar. Her smile and our chance encounters came to my mind these three days, and I couldn't help but feel this 'little' pain compared to the pain of her families.

How many times have we really prayed hard for a miracle? For a cause, which doesn't have no other extra alternatives available other than praying? Here's one of the moments when I really feel the urge to really hope for a miracle.

This news is also a reminder for me. I may be used to listen to the message of living each moment well, doing our ordinary duties extraordinarily well, attend Mass as if it's our last Mass, but here and now, it's a real message for me, as someone I know, someone I've talked to, is missing. I don't know my time either and I should live with this awareness every day.

Please pray for the passengers on board and their families.

Pampered!

My office has been moving to Expo in a week. I enjoyed the peace in the new building as our team has our own lab this time, yeay! I also enjoyed the clear and beautiful sky because we are so close to the airport that our buildings and the surrounding buildings are not too tall (see my post in Indonesian language here). Of course, there are many disadvantages of working at a far east area. I realized that I've been too pampered for the past 2.5 years of working.

I'm very grateful that the location of my current house is somewhat in the middle of the city. Therefore, if I take MRT, I only need to spend around 40 minutes on MRT plus a few minutes of walk (total around 1hour). However, I would prefer to take bus after attending morning Mass because the church is not walkable from MRT, and there's a direct bus from the church. The bus ride takes about 1 hour (excluding walking time). It really feels long, though I enjoyed the time praying in the bus, sleeping, and waking up and doing translation work on the ride. Hahaha. So many things I can do in the bus!

Unfortunately, I need to say goodbye to some kind of 'holy land' location of the previous office. My office was only 20minute-bus ride from a church and another 15-minute bus ride from another church plus another 30minute-bus ride from another church! Hahaha. I could choose Mass timing according to how much sleep I had the night before. Now, the nearest church is 30 minutes away and it starts at 6pm, so it's kinda too early because I need to reach office by 8am to be able to leave at 5.30pm. There's another church which has 6.30pm Mass. I attempted to go to that church, and it took almost 50minutes to that church. Anyway, now it's really a high time to be more discipline. I've been too pampered for the past years!! It's as if God is saying now, "Okay, this is real life. Prove your love even though it's inconvenient"

Thank God Christmas is coming. It's really a good start to be more discipline in this Advent =) Counting down for Christmas already! Yeay!!

Honest thoughts about Natural Family Planning (NFP)

I first heard about NFP when I was in my first year in university. In Legion of Mary meetings, my seniors often shared about how they explained to their friends about the Church stand on abortion, and sometimes it's easier to explain why abortion is wrong than why contraceptive is wrong. I also used to wonder whether it is truly possible for a married couple to not use artificial contraceptive.

I think there was a point of time when I bumped into this blog through my friend. Since then, I started to enjoy blogwalking these mommies' blog. I learned a lot about the true meaning of marriage, of sacrifice, and the beauty of the crosses in various forms in family life. I also slowly get to know married couples who do practice NFP in the real life.

I think these couples really impress me. The thing is the more I read and pray about these issues, the more I realize that NFP is not something that can be prescribed easily like a pill. It is under the big umbrella of understanding what marriage is and  how to deepen our spiritual life.

Therefore, as next year I will 'hit' the age of 25, there is more sense of urgency in me to challenge my friends and create a sense of urgency in them. Those who are engaged are busy preparing their logistics and decorations. With one off explanation (3-days-2-nite experience in Engagement Encounter), I have met quite a large proportion of friends who only heard about the church teaching on artificial contraceptive for the first time during the session. Some think that not using artificial contraceptive is 'impossible', or 'by right,the church says ...but I think it’s impossible to practice NFP.’ 

Honestly...I think all good habits are difficult to pick up. It's very hard to say that "God has a plan" if we are not used to finding out God's plan in every moment. We think that Sunday Mass + 10minutes prayer before going to bed is all that we need. We are poisoned by the idea of ownership of our body is equal to 'I can do whatever I want'. We grow up thinking that it's so 'natural' that after we are married, we can do 'whatever we want'. From my observation, that it seems that only a small percentage of dating or engaged couples truly understand up and down, in and out, about the implication of saying that marriage is a vocation (and I’m very grateful that there are still small percentage of people who do understand about this).

Nevertheless, I do believe that God has his own time. Even though I feel sad that quite a lot of friends entering marriage with the thought that ‘as long as I get the certificate of completion of Engagement Encounter or Marriage Preparation Course à I’m ready to get married’, I believe that it’s never too late to grow deeper in understanding of God’s plan in marriage. For many people, it’s through the children God converts the parents. As I’m trying to put myself in their shoes, I can’t deny that the pressure to have a big banquet in this region is really high, that as much as the young (and  without-much-money *duhh, raise my hand up!*) couples have a good intention to prepare a marriage, not only a wedding, there’s a real challenge in struggling to please parents and big families and save money for the house (that won’t even be ready in 3 years, in Singapore case!), that it’s really hard to focus on the marriage preparation.

Anyway, back to the title, I think we, as young and not-married-yet ladies, have lots and lots of homework to do. Isn’t it so natural for us to talk about relationships and families? The challenge now is to bring up the supernatural aspect of these natural topics for us in our conversations. It’s never too early to know about the beauty of our vocation and to ask our priests or friends that can be trusted if we are not sure.

Day 5 - Arca to Santiago

We needed to leave our beautiful accommodation at 4.30am. The Pilgrim Mass in Cathedral started at 12 noon, so we hoped to enter the cathedral by 11am because 2000 pilgrims arrived at Santiago every day. This time I borrowed Conchita's stick as my legs were really aching.

Welcome to Santiago!

That morning was not the first time we walked in the dark. However, the stars were sooo amazing. (un)fortunately, Wei Lian's and Josephine's cameras were good enough to capture the stars, so we paused here and there to take photo of the stars. Interestingly, that morning we also made a new friend from Germany. She shared with Carol about her journey to find God and that day was her birthday! So, when we stopped for quick breakfast, we sang happy birthday for her.

There was one horrible uphill when we almost reached the Cathedral. It was called Mount of Joy because from the top of the hill, we could see the view of the Cathedral. However, it was cloudy on that day so we couldn't see much. Actually the uphill was not that bad =P

Mount of Joy

When we almost reached the Cathedral, we saw this monument which displayed some images of the saints

We finally reached the Cathedral around 11.20am. Apparently big backpacks were not allowed so after we got our seats, some of us deposited our backpacks at visitors' center. Our guide also lost her mobile phone in the Cathedral :(:(

The Cathedral was sooo amazing. I cried after I received the Holy Communion. I guess this 5-day-walk was really a renewal experience for me. Every morning we were not sure whether we could 'finish' the walk, yet God showed His grace through great people around us, great view, great singing-buddies, and we did finish the walk. I really feel that this pilgrimage is a mini-version of our life as pilgrims on earth. There will be lots of moments when we thought we can't do it anymore, but it's worthwhile. It's worthwhile to continue walking with our heavy backpacks. It's worthwhile to continue carrying our sleeping bags because the night was freezing. Perhaps these sleeping bags are the reflection of our norms of piety throughout the day: the prayer, the rosary, or even our formation. It require sacrifice to carry it, but it protects us from the coldness of the world.

the huge thurible which was not used unless on Fridays and Feast Days or during Pilgrim Masses in Jubilee Years

the holy door

the tomb of St James

a side chapel where St Josemaria celebrated a Mass once here in the cathedral

the inner part of the holy door

It depicted how a priest found the tomb of St James

below was the Necrapolis

heaven was portrayed on the top part

We had a yummy lunch and we dropped our bags at Maruxa's uncle's and aunty's house. Maruxa is our Spanish friend who worked in Barcelona but grew up in Santiago. We tried to encourage her to do Camino because she hasn't done the Camino even though her town is always filled with pilgrims! Then we had a tour in the Cathedral and we also explored the compound around the Cathedral. We didn't go down to the Necrapolis, a mass graveyard of the first Christians where you can see many people buried in the position of facing where St. James was buried (similar with the one that was found under St. Peter's Basilica). That's why the doctrine of Assumption of Our Lady was very evident. If Our Lady was not assumed to heaven, there should be similar Necrapolis around the tomb of Our Lady because it was the first Christians' tradition to want to be buried near to the holy people.

the father of St James

and the mother of St James

We took our bags then took bus to Maruxa's parents house. We had a very late dinner and shower (not too late according to Spanish dinner time, 11pm). The next day we needed to leave the house early to catch our train to Madrid for the Beatification Mass. Thus, the second part of our trip has begun ^^

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 47

- 1 -

My office (read: the whole university) is moving to a permanent campus in December. Last week was HR and Finance Departments' turn. Yesterday was my turn! I spent the past three days packing, and throwing things. I don't really have special memories in this old office. Nevertheless, I am still amused when I read notes of the first few months working. For example, I found a list of kindergartens in Singapore with my hand-written notes. I remember how I called each kindergarten one by one to find one that is interested in collaborating in our research.

- 2 -

Some questions that I often ask my friends these days are, "What's your resolution for Advent? Have you had plan for Advent?" This morning I realized that tomorrow is the third Sunday of Advent already. Now I really feel that it's very important to ask this question earlier. I encounter colleagues who are caught up with work and 'forget' that it's Advent. Well, we know that it's Advent, but so what? I encounter friends from universities who are now working and saying the same things. As for students, it's exam period!

One paper bag is filled with 3 resolutions. Pick 1 each day till Christmas. I started on the Feast of Immaculate Conception. I was supposed to make 25 bags, but no time!! :(

As for me, I don't think that I've been having a 'perfect' Advent. My main resolution is actually very simple: de-cluttering and organizing my room/myself/my time so I have space for baby Jesus. This year's Advent is a bit 'dark' for me because there are so many things going on (moving office = another transition period, new rhythm, never-ending cough for the past three weeks, my boyfriend's never-ending struggle with his dissertation, etc). However, I still have a little hope, peace, and joy because even if I feel that this period of waiting for Christmas is a bit not like what I expected, it precisely becomes an opportunity to step back a bit and to offer up many things for baby Jesus.

- 3 -

I recently read a news about how a local actress expressed no regret that she was topless an a trailer of a movie. As I read more about her sharing with the newspaper, on how she didn't regret it, and how she felt that it was an affirmation how she has moved on from her past with eating disorder (because now she is confident with her body), I feel a... compassion?

I mean, isn't it sad that we need this affirmation that we are not worthless through external things such as acting topless? I really wish that one day she and many other people who have similar issues can feel loved just as the way they are.

Honestly speaking, I don't think that I don't have this problem too. For me, I seek worth of myself through work, or through my achievements. When I start comparing myself with other more 'successful' friends, when I envy others who travel here and there many times in a year, those who love me try to knock my head and wake me up: "hey, your identity is based on the fact that you are daughter of God"

- 4 -

Talking about workplace, my most memorable experience was actually not in the campus itself (I am working as a research assistant). I think it happened in a preschool. My first time helping 3-year-old clean herself after toilet time happened through this work as a research assistant. I found it quite interesting because I was a bit worried that I didn't clean her properly so I used so much toilet papers =P

- 5 -

Orchard Road, the main shopping area in Singapore, is always decorated beautifully during Christmas. Anyway, I haven't gone to Orchard Road to see the decorations this year! Hahaha. I always feel headache and dizzy when I see too many crowds in shopping malls.

However, I think nothing beats the decoration at Orchard Road in 2008. They had big statues of nativity stories along the road. The three Kings, the Holy Family, the shepherds. You can follow the Christmas story as you walk along the road. That's what a real Christmas is. It's such a pity that the decorations' standard every year has been decreasing. In 2009, the decoration was made of various deers with skimpy clothes. >.<

- 6 -

I'll fly home to Indonesia on Friday, 26 Dec after Christmas. I'm looking forward for the new year's celebration with my family + my brother's girlfriend's family + my aunties & uncles from my dad's side + my boyfriend. It's going to be a big gathering + BBQ. hahaha.

- 7 -

Oh, and here's the link to the Day 4 experience of Camino de Santiago ^^

More quick takes at Kelly's blog!

Day 4 - From Arzua to Arca / Pedrouzo

Last nite I dreamed that my mom went for Camino and I accompanied her on the first day. Such a weird dream. I couldn't 'see' the view clearly in my dream, but the amazement was still there even when I was dreaming.

We left at 4.30am from Arzua. Our destination has two names, either Arca or Pedrouzo. Our journey that day was only 20km, but my legs were terribly aching from previous day. Oh, I haven't told you something. Since the second day of walking, I always hung my legs upside down until I fell asleep. I've been using this method since I was young to relief my aching. It worked! But the ache was just too much from the third day so the pain came back after awhile.

I love clear sky!!

Evening Mass =)

Look at the shell. In the past, someone can be given a penance of "walking the Way of St James" and they needed to bring the shell from Galitia as a proof. As people started selling the shells, they changed the proofs to stamp. (of course now the priests don't give heavy penance to walk the Way of St James anymore)

"Enter, we have been waiting for you". What a call for us the pilgrims

We arrived at 2pm (on time! Yeay!). We tried pulpo (octopus!), special local delicacies. Conchita, our guide, also told us a loooong and interesting story about the Way of St. James. (Sorry Conchita, I fell asleep a bit halfway; duh!). Interestingly, we found out that she has been dedicating all her walk for other people. This is her 49th time walking the 5-day the Way of St. James. Instead of writing her own name on the certificate after she completed the walk, she dedicated her pilgrimage to various people, such as the Holy Father, the old lady that we visited on the third day, her parents, and so on and so forth.

The highlight of that day was the most beautiful and homey accommodation we had: Pension Arca!! (Somehow I couldn't find the photos! Argh!) Each bedroom was occupied by only 2-3 people and with attached bathroom. We also had common kitchen and pantry. We bought groceries and had our dinner at 'home'. Qian cooked her chestnut and some of us enjoyed our beloved cup noodle.

And of course.. a very clear sky and perfect sunset make a good silhouette jump shoot! =)

me and my singing buddy!

Thank you Lili for taking my jumpshots with your frame-by-frame phone camera

Unfortunately, we needed to leave at 4.30am the next day to catch Pilgrim Mass at 12noon at Santiago. Bye bye Pension Arca!! <3 br="">