It's in the little things

One week has passed since the crazy Valentine's weekend. Oh no no, it's not that I threw party or something like that. My friends and I sold roses for Valentine's Day. They are soooo talented.

This flower arrangement experience really reminds me of the power of the little things. When you buy the roses, you literally just see the top of the roses and filler flowers. However, we (the florist *cough cough*) saw the roses from various angles. You may think that the roses come instantly in good shape. Nope, they do not. Now I understand why other people sell flowers at a high price. It takes a lot of effort to make sure that the roses last long and it takes a lot of time to prepare the flowers.

This roses business is not only about money. I also learn the power of little things from my dear friend who still had the time to prepare dinner for us on the eve of Valentine's Day. Not only dinner, but a healthy dinner for a fussy-eater like me.

Now that we experience the 'hardship' of selling roses, I really believe that no good things come instantly. I don't think life is about 'being convenient'. Other people may just think that this kind of business is 'easy' as you 'just' need to sell the roses. However, it's not true. You may not believe it, but those bouquets are not 'anonymous'. Even though they are all similar, when we arranged the roses, we really thought of whom the roses are for (not only about whose order it was). One of my duties was to write the message and I really prayed for the person who would receive the flower. Be it for the reason of celebration, or reconciliation.

Now that one week has passed since the Valentine's Day, I really hope these lessons of the little things stuck in my mind (and my heart). And of course, I wish that my two friends ,who did this for a very important cause, will be able to cherish each other more after Valentine's Day (after being busy to help others show their love to their loved ones on the Valentine's Day). Thank you friends for showing me how to love! =)

It's okay to make mistakes *but get up again!*

I don't really like to talk about issues around modesty in public, because personally I've failed here and there too. I sometimes looked back at my past mistakes and I was like, "oh man...such a shame".

However, on the other hand, I feel that talking about these issues has become an affirmation for me. It helps me to think twice or thrice before I decide what I'm going to wear or before I behave in public (even though there may not be any friends that I know around me). It's not about being scrupulous in measuring how many centimeters my dress is, but it's more about whether this dress/cloth is flattering and whether it reflects my personality and my ideals. It's not only about feeling good or looking good, but talking about these issues about modesty actually helps me about the basic philosophy of the unity between body and soul.

I remember when I was an undergraduate, I wore an ugly basketball pants with slippers to class because most students wear shorts to class (but I felt uncomfortable of wearing too-short shorts to class). I also didn't realize that those who wore slippers actually wore branded slippers ($50 for a pair of slippers!) while I wore a bathroom slippers.

Anyway, thankfully I gave up. I realized it's ugly and I went back to my shirt+jeans attire. Since my second year in university, I became a roommate with another Indonesian girl and I noticed that she really makes an effort to dress well to class (especially if she has class at faculty of arts and social sciences because students in engineering faculty do not bother to dress well). To be honest, she looks nice and I want to look nice too! Come on, who doesn't want to look presentable? Since then, the journey of dressing well has begun.

It's a never-ending journey. Learning to dress well is a life-learning process. I definitely don't agree with obsession of owing branded cloth or buying cloth just because it's on sale. However, I slowly also agree that dressing shabbily is not a good thing. It's a whole process of respecting myself and respecting other people that I meet. My family is very thankful to my boyfriend because he is kinda 'speed up' this learning process. HAHAHA.

Anyway, it's okay to make mistakes. For super shorts, I can't do much so I wear them to sleep. As for dresses that have low cut, or backless, I do still wear them with creativity: with tube, with scarfs, with cardigans, as they still look nice and modest if I combined them with other basics. In fact, I recently love the combination of a tube maxi dress and plain crop top (with high heels, cos I'm short)! If you bump into me, you won't know it's a tube dress. =P  It's also good because crop top is cheap (cheaper than cardigan), but I won't wear a crop top because I don't agree that to look pretty you need to show your belly button. =P Some tube maxi dresses are also cheaper than other maxi dresses, so this combination is my cheapest and favorite so far. Hahaha.

ps. the rule of thumb is our cloth should direct people to our eyes and face, not to our other parts of our body as we communicate a lot through our eyes (more info here).

Let's get up again! ^^ Cheers!

Starting Lent with Chinese New Year!

Today is the second day of Chinese New Year. I'm spending time at my cozy home in Indonesia. My dad closed his office for today even though it's not a public holiday. =) My brother is visiting his girlfriend's family and my parents and I are waiting for foot massage time.

At the beginning, it seems challenging to celebrate Chinese New Year (CNY) with a Lenten spirit. However, after awhile, I slowly see that reunion dinner and CNY celebration can provide many opportunities to practice little mortification.

In Singapore, we could replace the fasting and abstinence to another day, as the eve of CNY celebration when big families gathered for reunion dinner fell on Ash Wednesday, especially because the majority of its population is Chinese. Personally, I chose to still abstain from meat at least during lunch. My boyfriend and I did our fasting last week and even though it was quite tough, I decided to give up eating too much snack in his family's house =P

Nevertheless, there's a new discovery that I think may be useful to keep in mind. The most difficult additional mortification sometimes is to keep quiet when I'm tempted to be critical, be it in CNY gathering with his family or my own family. Another challenging thing to do is precisely to talk to the distant relative and ask things that is of his or her interest. I was failed at times, but on Sunday I will visit my dad's side of family as they have left home when I reached Indonesia yesterday, so pray that I can offer up these little sacrifices.

Another thing that is very encouraging is as we celebrate CNY, my Lenten resolution can also be another new year resolution. It doesn't mean that I add more resolutions, but for the past two months, I have seen where I failed most of the times, which areas I need to improve urgently, and thanks to the retreat, God has shown me how I can love Him more too in concrete ways. So this Lent and CNY celebration is a good momentum to put them into practice.

Happy New Year!! Hope we can start this Lunar New Year with a good preparation for Easter too. I guess it's not only about 'giving up' french fries or sweet drinks only, this Lent is also a chance to pick up positive habits as a sign of love for Our Lord. God bless!

7 Quick Takes Friday Vol.48

It's been a while since I wrote 7QT. I have some things that I'd like to write here and there, but I haven't really written about them.

- 1 -

Worthy Ache

Last week was the week with the most physical exercises that I've ever had. I went climbing twice and I had Balinese dance practice. Phew! I felt fresh though. The good thing that I like about climbing and dance practice is they make me feel tired and I won't have weird dreams (like two nights ago when I dreamed that there were two planes did emergency landing near my office >.<).

- 2 -

Time to Invest on ...?

People at my age are really concerned about money, savings, and some of us, investment. I do not go into high-risk investment like buying stocks, but I do set aside money for savings. There are many types of people with regards to money. Some say that since by the time we get the returns of the money, the value has changed and has been lower than its value now, you might as well want to use the money to travel and enjoy yourself now.

I think with regards to our time, we also have different approaches in using our time. I keep telling myself that I don't have time (and so do my friends!). Now reading 10 minutes per day becomes a habit, but still when I suggest others to read 10 minutes per day, it's not that easy to start! (just like how I struggled six years ago!). Isn't it the same with money? The principle is to set aside the savings first before we spend it on other things. Once the salary comes, set aside money for savings, then allocate the rest for the spending. I think time is like that too. When I see how fast people react to the change of my facebook profile picture (and imagine the unimaginable), I was thinking to myself, "Wow, people do have lots of time!" The question is, how do we invest this time?

- 3 -

Waiting but not in Advent

I love to contemplate on the pain and joy of waiting in Advent because I can easily relate to Our Lady and those uncertainties she had when she couldn't find the inn, and also when she needed to flee to Egypt.

Now is the ordinary time of the year (and Lent is coming soon!). I need to constantly remind myself on the beauty of waiting. Come on, who likes waiting? I whatsapp people or check facebook while waiting for the MRT (even though the wait may just be for 3 minutes!). Even Paul's little niece watches iPad as she's waiting for her grandma to feed her. These are waiting for the little things.

There are many other bigger things that require waiting and patience, thus the waiting becomes more painful at times (though the joy when the time comes will be even greater). There are also people who wait without even knowing if the things they wait will come or not, for example, I've met a lady who has been married for five years and waiting for pregnancy. I've met another strong lady who has cancer and she also doesn't know if she can be cured, yet she still undergoes whatever treatment possible. Sometimes I feel ashamed that my little waiting is soooo uncomparable with these ladies' waiting, yet it's so frustrating and annoying.

- 4 -

To Kill a Mockingbird

I do enjoy reading this book! =) Again, thanks to my 1hour journey to office ^^ I finally reached the part that explained the title of this book. Hahaha. (I've been wondering why the title is like that!)

“Atticus said to Jem one day, "I’d rather you shot at tin cans in the backyard, but I know you’ll go after birds. Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird." That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it. "Your father’s right," she said. "Mockingbirds don’t do one thing except make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corn cribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” 

- 5 -

Sensitive Topics

Once I searched on "how to talk about sensitive topics with your boyfriend/spouse" and I found an interesting site. I'm sorry I can't remember the link now, but it's interesting to see how a topic that is normal for one side may be a sensitive topic for the other side! For example, to say "your hair is a little bit messy" is a sign of love from my boyfriend, but it's a 'hu-ha' and a big deal for me. Hahahaha (we used to have big quarrels because of this). On the other hand, to ask "Have you talked to your friend about a b c?" is a sign of love from me, but it's a sign of control for him, he'd prefer the phrase "Don't forget to a b c".

so yeah, it's good to sit down and think, "What are the sensitive topics for us?"

- 6 -

Children's Pretend Play

I don't want to go into the discussion whether pretend play really benefits children, but I am concerned about the time that preschoolers lose these days, particularly in Singapore. Children were 'pushed' to read (sometimes way too early) or to memorize flash cards.

It's very interesting to play with my boyfriend's niece. Two weeks ago we carried the 'babies', one is baby Jesus, one is baby Mother Mary (duh...it's her ideas). Then we pretended to go to swimming pool and she said, "The babies will play in the children's pool, we can swim in the adult pool." Me: "Oh we can leave them there?" her: "Yes it's okay!"

Last night, when I suggested that we 'brought' the babies to the swimming pool, she said "The babies are too small to play in the swimming pool". Hahahaha.

- 7 -

I'm going for my retreat!
I can't believe that it's only February, yet I feel physically and spiritually tired.
Looking forward for my 8-hour-sleep (and of course..the peace and silence with God)

More quick takes at Kelly's blog: