The importance of rest - the expensive way to realize it

Last Tuesday, I took my first full day off due to my flu and cough. I felt so guilty because in teaching, there are no spare teachers!

However, I am very happy that I took that day off because I could have a proper rest and I was 90% recovered by the end of the day. The next day when I came back to school, I could work properly, I could sing with the class, and I was at my best.

So if you are one of those who like to force yourself to work even though you are really sick, please consider to rest, for a better work the next day. It's also to be fair for your colleagues and clients that you have, especially if your sickness is very contagious =P

As for me, I hope I take care myself better (I say this every month once I fall sick - too late!).

It's really hard to get seven hour of sleep, but my spiritual director said something that is very good: "It's hard to be spiritually well when we don't have order in the physical sense". Of course there will be times when I won't have enough sleep because of family circumstances, kids, etc. But now at this moment, it's actually possible to have a proper rest if I want to.

Have a great Sunday!!

A letter for my future - regarding childcare

Dear Future Me,

If by the time you read this letter you are sending your children to childcare centre, please remember the following things.

1) Your kids are not the only kids in the classroom

Of course you will make sure that the teachers-student ratio are okay, but remember that things happen in the classroom. Sometimes another teacher falls sick and one of the assistant teacher is assigned to another class. Sometimes your kids' classmate pees in his pants and one of the teachers needs to get out of the classroom to get the mop and rinse the pants.

Anything can happen in the classroom and remember that your kids' teachers are mothers of at least ten to twelve kids of the same age.

2) There are new teachers and it takes time for them to get used to the routine or sometimes you change your kids' shoes or socks and they are not used to them

Sometimes things get mixed up.

You may not find your kids' new socks because the teachers do not recognize their new socks.
You may feel like "these teachers have showered my kids for months and still cannot remember my kid's towel???" First, remember rule #1, And second, new teachers come in at least once a year. Even during my research work in other preschools, every year I see new faces.

You may find a towel in your bag that does not belong to your kid's. You may find your beloved ziplock bag that you nicely put to store your kid's clothes. Remember that your kids are not the only kids being showered. It is a chaotic situation in which your teachers try to teach your kids independence, while your kids may take their own sweet time to wear their clothes, and the teachers need to balance between teaching your kids independence and remembering the long queue of other children (and their lunch that will be delayed!)

3) Your kids may lose their balance when they play at the playground

Kids, being kids, love running around!
You may question about your kid's bruises, but do not judge too quickly or be too suspicious (unless you really really feel signs of abuse - and even if you see signs of abuse, do not spread in social media too fast).

When there was a case of a child abuse in one of the preschool, during my research time one of the preschool principal told me that this teacher was the only teacher that wants to take the kid. That kid was famous to be difficult. See? The teachers have their own story that are unknown by the media. Of course you cannot justify the 'abuse', but in real life, remember that the teachers work long hours and with lots of kids (even if they have the right ratio, there are still LOTS of kids to handle considering that they are of the same age. Imagine you have quadruplets!). Remember that these teachers, like you mothers, are expected to be super-woman. They need to take care of your kids the whole day and prepare the lesson plan or activities or outings or letters for YOU.

Dear Future Me,

before you complain to your principal, please think through these three points.

Hugs,


Myself in 2016

The pressure that shouldn't be a pressure on marriage

One of my close friends just turned 26! We have known each other since we were nine, so every time any of us celebrates birthday, this sentence keeps repeated "17 still feels like yesterday", or "when we were high school .... but now ..."

The popular wish on every birthday celebration is "may your relationship with your boyfriend last long and may you quickly get married". I guess it is because we still live in the idea that at the age of 25, we should start preparing ourselves to get married. Didn't our parents conceive us when they were 25?

I believe that dating or engagement shouldn't be prolonged unnecessarily. At the end of the day, the purpose of dating is to get to know each other and to prepare for marriage. However, knowing my circumstances, I have come to the acceptance that I am one of those couples that do not want to prolong dating unnecessarily, but circumstances do not allow us to do so.

Here are some thoughts of things that shouldn't be a pressure on how quick you should get married (credits to my boyfriend - these are fruits of our discussion or quarrels sometimes =P):

1. Your age or your boyfriend's age

My boyfriend is six years older than me. When I go back to Indonesia, people look at him as someone who should have kids by his age. The funny thing is even when we were just attached for a few months, once the neighbors saw him they started asking my mom, "Don't forget to send the invitation!" disclaimer: I don't mean that he looks old =P

We shouldn't get married just because I am turning 26, or just because I am already 40.
We need to have the maturity. On the other hand, we shouldn't expect ourselves to be perfect before marriage (eg wait until I am not stubborn anymore!), but we should least work towards what kind of person I want to be, regardless of my relationship status.

2. How many pre-wedding or wedding photos you have seen on your facebook newsfeed

There is a point of time when your facebook newsfeed will be full of your friend's wedding photos once every two months. Perhaps it makes us wondering if it is the time for us too to get married.
However, each couple is different.

I have friends who are engaged less than a year after they got together. When I see that they have been working together on themselves, having an open communication with each other, and most importantly, they have agreed on the fundamental values (faith, ideas about children, and ideas about marriage), I literally jumped up and down happily when they broke the news. I also have other close friends with similar dating period and get engaged, yet I do not have the same reactions because I know they have not agreed on some things or they are pressured by other things. For example, if they are Chinese, some of their parents still look for specific good dates that bring good luck. I have seen cases in which the marriage was quickened much faster until they are willing to let go the spiritual preparation.

3. For Singapore case, your public housing down payment

In Singapore, you need to be at least engaged before applying for a public house. Then you need to produce your marriage certificate by the time your house is ready (2- 3 years).

However, there are cases in which couples realize that the partner is not the Mr or Mrs Right, but because they already make down payment, they still continue with the marriage.

Because of these reasons, I have learnt to stop wishing my friends "May you quickly get married". I don't want to be the pressure on my friends who may not even be sure if their partners are the Mr Right. I have learnt to stop asking, "When will you get married?" or "Are you getting married soon?" whether they are 30+ or 25 because even if they plan to get married, it is very tiring to keep answering your friends the reasons of not doing so soon. On the other hand, if I know they are still struggling in some issues or if they are still contemplating if they are meant for each other or if they are called for marriage, I prefer to discuss other topics that can help us to prepare ourselves better.

A review about some app - a dummy's perspective

My current phone is only my second smart phone after my beloved Nokia phone's screen cracked into pieces last year. The current one is an Android phone so I am so happy to finally be able to download app from Google Play Store. Here are some apps that I've found very useful:

1. MoneyLover

One of my new year resolutions is tidying up my budget every month. I have been taking note of every expenses, but I have not been able to look at the bigger picture of how much I spend per category. Thanks to my brother, I installed MoneyLover app. It's my first month using it and since I already have the habit of taking notes of my spending, this app makes it easier to tidy up the categories.

2. OvuView

Similarly, I have been tracking my menstrual cycle although I'm single (read here for more information of the importance of tracking your menstrual cycle). I am less consistent in doing this compared to in taking note of my budget. This app allows you to key in temperature, mucus characteristics etc depending on the method that you use. I have no say yet about the accuracy of this app but it helps me to be aware of my body and changes of mood related to the hormonal changes.

3. Pocket

You can download the articles that you want to read later in this app. In this case, I can tell myself to switch off my data, but I still can read the articles offline. Unlike facebook or pinterest, this app puts a stop of the scrolling down habit. Unfortunately, not all articles can be viewed offline.

I used to be a super-hardcopy person. However, some inventions do help me to organize my life better =D