3 rings

Hello! I have been wanting to write this last Saturday. I'd like to share a priest's homily when I attended a wedding mass last Saturday.

Father said there are 3 rings in this life:
1. engagement ring
2. wedding ring
3. guess what? suffer-ring hahaha..

It's very interesting how Father pointed out how we the guests were so enthusiastic and happy that morning. The couple must also have been very happy. Then Father said, "You know what, tomorrow you'll be so tired. The question is, what happens after the wedding? Do you just go to work as per normal or do you go to work with a new awareness that now you two are one?" Father also made an analogy with the transfiguration. He reminded us about Peter who suggested that they stayed there at set up the tents. However, Father highlighted that we can't forget that to follow Jesus is to carry the cross. Suffering is part of love because love needs sacrifice. (Wah I love the last three phrases).

Well, for me, I think Father's message is relevant to everyone. Firstly, I've never thought something like "working normally in the realization that you two are one." It was really a reminder-in-advanced. Something good that Paul pointed out to me about this was, "Isn't that what Christian life all about? We are ordinary people doing ordinary work, but we see it with different light." As Frank Sheed said, "see everything "God-bathed".. like when you see the same view of mountain under the sunlight, see the mountain "sun-bathed".." It's really a good reminder that my 'mundane' 8.30am-6pm work can be seen under different light.

Another interesting thing was about "to complement" each other. Father said, it's about 'complementarity' not 'compatibility'. So many marriages break down when people say "we're not compatible."

The last important thing was we, the guests, have responsibility to remind the couple about this day, about this sacred Sacrament. It doesn't mean that we intervene with their private life, but when things are tough, help them to remind them about this day.

I'll pray for the couple and especially for my roommate who'll be getting married next month :)
God bless :)

dress and kid

If you know me well, you know that I'm not a dress-person. I'm not the supergirly type and I have difficulties being ladylike. Well, a post in www.catholicyoungwoman.blogspot.sg reminded me of the importance of trying to behave like a lady.

To be honest, it's difficult! My first rolemodel is Sharmini. She said, since young, her dad did not allow her to wear jeans to Sunday Mass. Okay this one is not only for girl, but anyway, her parents teach her to dress well for Mass, to receive the Lord, and I notice that she always wears dress for Mass.

My difficulty is as much as I want to try to dress 'a little bit' better or to behave more ladylike, I'm too used to my "old-self". I keep giving excuse to myself: "Oh because I'm doing research on children, it's very hard to wear skirt or dress." or "Oh my colleagues do not use make-up, so it's very weird if I start putting on make-up", and so on and so forth.

Anyway, yesterday, I wore a dress to a preschool because the only 2 blouses left are the same blouses that I wore in the previous week to that particular preschool!!! Hahahaha. The cute thing is the K1 kids walked pass me and said, "I love your dress."

These kids ah..always make me smile. At that moment, I promised to dress more appropriately even though I'm doing "field work". Kids do notice when you dress appropriately or not! Of course you won't wear tight skirt in the kindergarten and run experiment, hahaha, but there are still blouses or skirts or dress or a simple hairpin that makes you a bit different, makes the kid happy, then at the end, tradaaaa...they will cooperate when you run the experiment. HAHAHAHAHA..

new motivation to spare a little money next month for a new cheap working dress :P

undergarment

disclaimer: this is a neutral post, can be read by boys or girls

You can laugh at me, anyway, I got the inspiration to write this post in the church this morning. It is because I carried a carrier bag from an undergarment shop. The shop tagline is "It is what's on the inside."

Last month I was tempted to think, "My goodness, why is bra so expensive?? No one sees anyway, yet it's so expensive." Bra and dress can have a same price. The answer is in the carrier that I just got last night: "It is what's on the inside." Even if no one sees your undergarment, it is an important and an essential necessity. You need to have a good bra, not just an 'anyhow-bra'. You need to throw your worn out panties and get a new one. Not only undergarment, a hole on your socks needs to be stitched, even though "no one sees that."

Isn't our life like that too?
It's "what's on the inside." No one sees you pray, or doing your spiritual reading, or saying your rosary, or having an intimate conversation with your God,
but it's still an important part of you: interior life.

What's on the inside affect what's seen at the outside. That's precisely why the shop sells various types of undergarment: push-up bra, sports bra, whatever whatever. You can have a very beautiful dress, but you wear the 'wrong' bra, that's it man. Say good-bye to beautiful dress!You'll look not as nice as it could be.

And this thing about interior life is even more complicated than that. Firstly, of course we should strive to have a deep interior life to be able to bear fruit. Secondly, the purpose is not only for the 'outside', but also for our eternal life. So even though the norms of piety (the prayer, the spiritual reading, the mass, etc) seem useless, it's important to keep persevering in doing it. Even though these norms seem taking sooo much time, remember that it affects our life sooo much and the most important thing in this life is God.

So as the shop said, "It's what's on the inside."

Beware - serious topic

Today I had dinner with Pheara (whom I always called: Pheara pheara whatever will be will be). It was only a short 60 minute, but I am glad that we talked about 'serious stuff'.

I could not talk 'like that' to many people.
We talked about "love".

disclaimer: this post is not about my conversation with Pheara, but our conversation makes me want to write about this topic.

The basic questions that I used to ask since I was young(er) was: "How do you know if you love someone? How do you know if that someone loves you too?" Well, when I was secondary school, it's not "love", but "like".

But even when I was still in high school, I knew that I 'love' someone when I didn't think about myself anymore and when I just thought "whatever the best for him". I did not know so much about 'love'. When I broke up with that person that I 'loved', in the middle of my cry, my mom said, "It's okay. Just think about it as an English course, it's time to go up to the higher level." I cried louder after that but was a bit like, "whattt?? analogy of breaking up with English course??" Hahaha. Anyway, I can't forget that sentence!! I also repeat that sentence to other people who experience broken heart.

Me and my beloved girl friends love axioo, a wedding photography blog. Hahaha. No matter how other people teased us for looking at this blog soooo often, we don't care. We just love the blog! Recently, I saw a post titled, "It's in the little things". Let me copy-paste a paragraph from the description of the photo:

"I think we all have to learn to take our cues from Lawrence. I love how he makes Livia feel special. It’s always in the little things he does to remind her that he loves her. Starting from the way he proposed to her at a cinema. He booked an entire cinema for the occasion, wrote her a song, played the piano, and made a short video clip out of it which showed at the cinema he reserved – all as a surprise for her! He has definitely raised the bar on hunting, I tell you!  He doesn't stop there, it's just the little things he does, paying attention to her that make her feel like she's so special. It’s not as if she doesn’t know that she’s special to him, but it’s the desire to constantly remind her, through the little things, that makes it all so very special. Thank you for the inspiration, Lawrence!"

Well, it's not that we girls want guys write song for us, played piano for us (*cough once*, according to my friend, having a boyfriend who can play piano doesn't mean that he'll play piano for you), but it's precisely in the "paying attention to her that make her feel like she's so special" (the same thing applies to girl-to-guy).
It's in the little things...
Perhaps it's in the morning SMS..
or a simple "Have you eaten?" (Is it only Indonesian culture? We used to think that one way to know whether a guy likes you or not is whether he has messaged you "have you eaten?")
Though sometimes the 'language of love' might not synchronize with each other :P
a simple "I miss you" even though you've just met last night (*cough once* yeah guys, I know you think it's silly, but it's how we girls being sweet :) )
Perhaps it's an effort to do something that you don't like but the other likes (eg karaoke) *evil laugh*
Or reading (stalking) your 'target' 's blog to know more about him? (*wink to Nic*)
But but but...sometimes we forget these little things :( Thought these things are the things that keep the 'sparks' between you two.

At the end of the day, my principle is still the same: you know you love someone when you want the best for him. Citing Sherina, my friend, it is "reaching a higher dream with another person". Other people might call this thing as a 'stupid' thing. Some other people might call this thing as a  'silly' thing, but for people who understand what love is, what a vocation of marriage is, it's not a 'compromise of your personal dream', but a 'sacrifice of your own dream for a better dream with another person'. Okay, I've written some thoughts on it in my Indonesian blog, so sorry that I won't write it here. Hehehe.


yeah, tell me what can a 22-year-old-'girl' talk about 'love'?

I dunno.

Hahaha.

Well, this post is going nowhere. I hope these bits and pieces are useful. Hahaha.

Brother and Sister

Nah, this one happened 2 weeks ago. Somehow I believe this little boy will grow up as a very sweet guy. Hahaha.

A little boy and a little girl were sitting in MRT (primary school age). I think the boy is the elder one. They laughed and played together (quite rough). Then the girl showed a bruise on her knee to her brother. This little boy rubbed the bruise and also used his saliva to rub the bruise. (well, perhaps for some people it was disgusting, but my mom used to use her saliva to rub my scar too).

I was just smiling. They were really sweet. Even when they played together, I could see that this little boy is not typical 'elder-brother-who-abuses-the-sister' HAHAHAHA.. Of course he was also playful like other little boys. After a while, he used his elbow to 'rub' the sister's bruise and this made the sister laughed a lot. Hahaha.

I am sitting with Daddy, Na na na na..

Setting: MRT
Seating position: Dad - Mom - 6(?) year old girl

Suddenly Daddy asked the little girl to sit between him and Mom. This little girl held her Dad's arm, looked at her mom and said, "I'm sitting with Daddy, Na na na na na (typical childish tone)". The passengers around were laughing at her. Hahaha. So cute.

After that, Daddy carried her so that the seating position became: girl - Dad - Mom.
Guess the girl's reaction? She insisted to sit between Dad and Mom. Hahahaha. At the end, the girl sat on Daddy's lap. So cute :P

I love you, Mummy

A short piece of conversation between 4-year-old kid and his mom:

School admin staff welcomed the mom, "Your kid is having a fever".
Mom hugged his son (note: he's a restless boy, I was nervous to run my experiment on him this Thursday).
"What happened to you? Yesterday played too much ah? You didn't drink enough water, that's why now you have fever."
Mom poured medicine syrup to him and asked him to drink the medicine.

Suddenly the boy said, "I love you, Mummy."
Mom: "I love you too. You should learn to take care of yourself, okay?"
.... (I forgot the conversation)
Boy: "I am not stronger enough."
Uhh.. my eyes were suddenly filled with tears. I can't believe that a 4-year-old boy with his limited grammar can regret that falling sick causes a problem to her mom.
I was also surprised that this boy whom people can categorize as 'naughty' randomly told his mom that he loves her.

I'm glad that I work a lot with small kids, so many things to learn from their simplicity :)

Mom, I love you so much

This is just a quick post.
My mom has just enlightened me :)

Thank you, Mom. I love you soooo muchhh..
She's the best person who can read other people's mind!!!

Life Lesson 'tutorial'

April once (or twice? or a few times?) said that our meeting between me, April, Nyz, and Nic twice a year has always been a life lesson sharing session. This afternoon I really felt the beauty of this friendship and our 'life lesson tutorial' sessions. People have their own idea about "friends" or "true friends" and I think the most valuable thing of our friendship is the fact that we can really dig up the thing that our friend might not like, point it out and say, "See? This thing might not be correct, you might want to view it from a different angle". We can point the 'most bitter possibility' that we don't want to think about. We knock each others' head by our words, "Hey! Wake up!!" and we also help each other, we offer solution, we try to understand our friend's perspective, yet it doesn't mean that we must let the other person is trapped in her mindset. However, our last sentence is always, "It is up to you. If you think A, then you must be ready for B. If you don't think about A, we've told that you can't just brush it off." We remind each other that we must face the problem instead of running away.

This afternoon I had similar life lesson 'tutorial' with Sharmini. (I really owe Dom for introducing two us. Oops, I think I really owe him a lot! hahaha). We talked talked talked and talked, and suddenly we talked to each other about our weaknesses. It was a really beautiful chat. She gave me some tips on how I could help myself, she shared to me about her difficulties overcoming her weakness, she encouraged me, and she understood how difficult it is to improve ourselves. We were quite surprised that we had similar weakness. Hahaha. We were like, "oops, now we know why we clique with each other :P". I really feel enlightened after talking to her and really felt that this is the way that I've been looking for. It's much more encouraging to see someone with similar struggle also trying hard and to journey with this person. Really thank God for our Sunday chat.

There was one time during circle (the weekly spiritual formation in Opus Dei), Pilar said, "We must do our norms of piety, our plan of life, even though we don't feel like doing it because God wants to talk to us in that specific moment and God has prepared grace for us for that specific situation." I think it's really true. Yesterday I felt the urge to go confession, but I brushed it off. This morning I went and I really felt that it was God speaking to me. (okay don't imagine emotional scene like coming out of confessional box crying :P). He talked about thing as simple as "not to be too busy doing lots of stuff, till you don't know why you're upset" (remember my me-time post?). Another time I felt that God was talking through Dom (again!) Hahaha..

There was one time I felt sooooo difficult to pray because I was so sad, then the next day the reflection was on "to live at the present moment and not to worry too much." Pilar said, even when you feel that you've prayed 'wrongly', it is the grace of God that allows you to feel that!
So yeah.. Thank God for the life lesson 'tutorial' (though sometimes got 'painful tutorial' too >.<) hahahaha.

have a blessed Sunday!!