When we talk about homosexual union, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Most of the time, people do not start the discussion on the same level.
I'm not sure whether people who advocate homosexual union understand that there's a difference between homosexual tendency and engaging in homosexual act. I'm not sure whether people who think that those people who are against homosexual union do not want to attack people with homosexual tendency. In fact, people who are against homosexual union's main concern is on meaning of marriage and family life. Let's look at the Catholics. They stand against homosexual union as much as they stand against divorce, polygamy, the use of contraception, and IVF!!
I'm not sure whether those people who advocate homosexual union truly understand the meaning of "freedom to love". What is freedom? And what is love? (uhum, we can have a lot of philosophical discussion about the meaning of these two words). Let me repeat again that people who are soooo against people-who-are-against-homosexual-union mostly say, "It's love! Why can't you let people who love each other get 'married'?" My very smart lecturer in a gender class even defines "love" in this way, "Why are people so against homosexual union? We are just "turned on", then just do it. You can let people have polygamy or go to find prostitutes, so why can't let homosexual couples marry each other?" (I truly think my lecturer is very smart, but I feel that her statement makes me feel that as-if-I'm-an-animal. I'm turned on, woohooo, go for it!) The thing is...even though prostitution, divorce, and polygamy are sooo commonly practiced, they are attacks to marriage, just like allowing homosexual union destroys the meaning of marriage.
I couldn't recall the original article, but someone mentioned that as much as someone with homosexual tendency have to constantly refrain himself or herself from engaging in homosexual act, married couples also have to constantly struggle not to engage in sexual intercourse when they need to delay pregnancy because of valid reasons. Heterosexual couples also need to constantly struggle not to have extramarital affair just to satisfy themselves when they are "turned on" and their partners can't 'satisfy' themselves. In the first place, that's not the idea of love and marriage, it's not about YOU satisfy ME, it's about self-giving. That's why the use of contraception is also NEVER morally right. That's why an extramarital affair or masturbation is NEVER morally right. The problem with the current situation is people think that the use of contraception, masturbation, hiring prostitutes are OKAY, ACCEPTABLE! That's why people question, "What's the big deal about letting the homosexual union legalized as a marriage?"
Another issue is...after the removal of homosexual tendency from the DSM-III (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-3rd edition), people think that it's normal to have that tendency, so people stop asking "Why?". Why do people have this tendency? People also stop asking "How"? How can we help people with homosexual tendency to live with dignity and how to make the society INCLUDE them and ACCEPT them? (Note that inclusive society does not mean that people with homosexual tendency must be allowed to marry their partner). Research papers investigate on adoption studies, comparing homosexual and heterosexual couples. However, you just need to see the bottom of the first page of the paper, these studies were funded by organizations who advocate homosexual unions. Have you also checked the methods of these papers? Well, let's say we don't look at adoption studies. Many psychological studies on heterosexual couples showed the complex relationship between mother's and father's role! (and these relationships affect various aspects of children's development: language development, attachment style, play behaviour, motivation, and so on and so forth). A LOT!! How can we simplify the issue of homosexual union and 'rights' to adopt children by saying that "there's no harm and no negative impact" on children who are adopted by homosexual couples? (There are abundant studies on divorce and the use of contraception too).
So....when we talk about homosexuality issue, I would like to propose to the people who strive to legalize homosexual union to ask yourself:
1) Do we know the difference between homosexual tendency and homosexual act?
2) Are we aware that we think that someone who has homosexual tendency is discriminated when he/she can't get married because of our distorted view of marriage? (because we think heterosexual couples can have sex anytime they want --> just use condom or pill or whatsoever, because we think heterosexual couples can just divorce their spouse when they're not compatible anymore --> freedom to love! and freedom to fall out of love)
3) Can we find out more about "why" someone has a homosexual tendency? Are we sure it's just a matter of "sexual orientation"? If it's not a 'disorder', would we want all our kids to have homosexual tendency? (it's 'only' sexual orientation right? not a disorder!)
4) Do we know enough about the notion of Marriage and Family Life? Instead of pointing fingers to the Catholics and say, "Oh maaan. You won't agree with homosexual union because "the Pope says so, right?" ", why don't we research on Catholic teaching on Marriage? It's not only about homosexuality, it's not about a phobia towards people with homosexual tendency. (note: please find reliable source like Catechism of the Catholic Church or the Pope's Encyclicals! warning: be prepared to learn philosophy too!)
Deep in our heart, we want the society to see people with homosexual tendency as people with dignity, just like other people, despite the fact that they may not get married with their 'partner'. It's the same thing like how I want people to see my cousin with cerebral palsy with a loving look because she has equal dignity with other children, despite the fact that.... she may not get married either. It doesn't make her less human than other people.
Everyone wants an inclusive society. In my opinion, I need to create more awareness so that society can accept children with Down Syndrome or with autism. However, I can't deny that even though these children have the same dignity with typically developing children, they can't do some tasks that are easy for the typically developing children (while at the same time, they can do some other tasks better than typically developing children). So for us to help these children with these problems, we need to accept that they have this condition, but we shouldn't label them (notice that I never use the words "homosexuals" or "autistic").
And my friend is correct. While there are a lot of mothers out there who have experienced how abortion is not a "pro-choice" option, where are the voice of people who have homosexual tendency, yet struggle not to engage in homosexual act? We need your help to share and defend the dignity of marriage. (Thanks to http://www.stevegershom.com/) :)
So yeah...hope this will help us to have the discussion on the same level :)
Most of the time, people do not start the discussion on the same level.
I'm not sure whether people who advocate homosexual union understand that there's a difference between homosexual tendency and engaging in homosexual act. I'm not sure whether people who think that those people who are against homosexual union do not want to attack people with homosexual tendency. In fact, people who are against homosexual union's main concern is on meaning of marriage and family life. Let's look at the Catholics. They stand against homosexual union as much as they stand against divorce, polygamy, the use of contraception, and IVF!!
I'm not sure whether those people who advocate homosexual union truly understand the meaning of "freedom to love". What is freedom? And what is love? (uhum, we can have a lot of philosophical discussion about the meaning of these two words). Let me repeat again that people who are soooo against people-who-are-against-homosexual-union mostly say, "It's love! Why can't you let people who love each other get 'married'?" My very smart lecturer in a gender class even defines "love" in this way, "Why are people so against homosexual union? We are just "turned on", then just do it. You can let people have polygamy or go to find prostitutes, so why can't let homosexual couples marry each other?" (I truly think my lecturer is very smart, but I feel that her statement makes me feel that as-if-I'm-an-animal. I'm turned on, woohooo, go for it!) The thing is...even though prostitution, divorce, and polygamy are sooo commonly practiced, they are attacks to marriage, just like allowing homosexual union destroys the meaning of marriage.
I couldn't recall the original article, but someone mentioned that as much as someone with homosexual tendency have to constantly refrain himself or herself from engaging in homosexual act, married couples also have to constantly struggle not to engage in sexual intercourse when they need to delay pregnancy because of valid reasons. Heterosexual couples also need to constantly struggle not to have extramarital affair just to satisfy themselves when they are "turned on" and their partners can't 'satisfy' themselves. In the first place, that's not the idea of love and marriage, it's not about YOU satisfy ME, it's about self-giving. That's why the use of contraception is also NEVER morally right. That's why an extramarital affair or masturbation is NEVER morally right. The problem with the current situation is people think that the use of contraception, masturbation, hiring prostitutes are OKAY, ACCEPTABLE! That's why people question, "What's the big deal about letting the homosexual union legalized as a marriage?"
Another issue is...after the removal of homosexual tendency from the DSM-III (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-3rd edition), people think that it's normal to have that tendency, so people stop asking "Why?". Why do people have this tendency? People also stop asking "How"? How can we help people with homosexual tendency to live with dignity and how to make the society INCLUDE them and ACCEPT them? (Note that inclusive society does not mean that people with homosexual tendency must be allowed to marry their partner). Research papers investigate on adoption studies, comparing homosexual and heterosexual couples. However, you just need to see the bottom of the first page of the paper, these studies were funded by organizations who advocate homosexual unions. Have you also checked the methods of these papers? Well, let's say we don't look at adoption studies. Many psychological studies on heterosexual couples showed the complex relationship between mother's and father's role! (and these relationships affect various aspects of children's development: language development, attachment style, play behaviour, motivation, and so on and so forth). A LOT!! How can we simplify the issue of homosexual union and 'rights' to adopt children by saying that "there's no harm and no negative impact" on children who are adopted by homosexual couples? (There are abundant studies on divorce and the use of contraception too).
So....when we talk about homosexuality issue, I would like to propose to the people who strive to legalize homosexual union to ask yourself:
1) Do we know the difference between homosexual tendency and homosexual act?
2) Are we aware that we think that someone who has homosexual tendency is discriminated when he/she can't get married because of our distorted view of marriage? (because we think heterosexual couples can have sex anytime they want --> just use condom or pill or whatsoever, because we think heterosexual couples can just divorce their spouse when they're not compatible anymore --> freedom to love! and freedom to fall out of love)
3) Can we find out more about "why" someone has a homosexual tendency? Are we sure it's just a matter of "sexual orientation"? If it's not a 'disorder', would we want all our kids to have homosexual tendency? (it's 'only' sexual orientation right? not a disorder!)
4) Do we know enough about the notion of Marriage and Family Life? Instead of pointing fingers to the Catholics and say, "Oh maaan. You won't agree with homosexual union because "the Pope says so, right?" ", why don't we research on Catholic teaching on Marriage? It's not only about homosexuality, it's not about a phobia towards people with homosexual tendency. (note: please find reliable source like Catechism of the Catholic Church or the Pope's Encyclicals! warning: be prepared to learn philosophy too!)
Deep in our heart, we want the society to see people with homosexual tendency as people with dignity, just like other people, despite the fact that they may not get married with their 'partner'. It's the same thing like how I want people to see my cousin with cerebral palsy with a loving look because she has equal dignity with other children, despite the fact that.... she may not get married either. It doesn't make her less human than other people.
Everyone wants an inclusive society. In my opinion, I need to create more awareness so that society can accept children with Down Syndrome or with autism. However, I can't deny that even though these children have the same dignity with typically developing children, they can't do some tasks that are easy for the typically developing children (while at the same time, they can do some other tasks better than typically developing children). So for us to help these children with these problems, we need to accept that they have this condition, but we shouldn't label them (notice that I never use the words "homosexuals" or "autistic").
And my friend is correct. While there are a lot of mothers out there who have experienced how abortion is not a "pro-choice" option, where are the voice of people who have homosexual tendency, yet struggle not to engage in homosexual act? We need your help to share and defend the dignity of marriage. (Thanks to http://www.stevegershom.com/) :)
So yeah...hope this will help us to have the discussion on the same level :)
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