7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 24

- 1 -

Time flies!! Tomorrow is the last day of November!!
I know that many bloggers who visit each other's blogs do pray for each other, especially those from Jen's blog. I would like to request a prayer for my friends' newborn, baby Judith. She has this condition called multiple hepatic hemangiomas and she has been in ICU for almost 3 months since she was born.

www.judithgianna.wordpress.com

Please pray hard for her as her condition has been very unstable this week. My friend wrote this blog about her journey.

She's very beautiful, isn't she?
I sent the link of the blog to my mom and my mom's response was: 1) she's pretty! 2) Amazing girl.
I think my mom can see how this little girl is really really a strong girl.

- 2 -

This evening I watched an end-of-year concert that was organized by one of the preschools that we're collaborating with. The pattern of the show is when the kids danced, their eyes would search for their parents and once their eyes found the parents, they would smile bigger and their eyes sparkled :)

- 3 -

Two weeks ago I attended Sunday Mass at Paul's parish. Some kids came to the church bringing an origami work. They were busy protecting the origami until their parents must remind them to focus in the Mass.
Sometimes...I feel that we behave like those kids. We forget which is more important and we are distracted by the less important things, perhaps by prioritizing ourselves than God or by playing with our phone when we're talking to our friends.

- 4 -

I've been thinking about what people actually mean by "human dignity".

I've recently seen how the mothers I know interact with a little girl who has a face tumor (half of her face is disfigured). I think..this is what the Church teaches as "human dignity". These other mothers treat this little girl just like any other girls. There's no eyes of pity or looking down or "poor you!" but just Love. Love her as how Christ loves us, love her as how they love other little kids. It's very beautiful and this is a good reminder for me.

- 5 -

I finally bought the foam for flower arrangement! Next, I need to buy the flowers =P

- 6 -

This week Paul's aunt lent him her car because his aunt is overseas. So...few days ago we could go to other place for lunch! I was super-happy. Hahahaha. First, because it's been hard to meet him because he was on military service for three weeks. Second, I was superbored with the food in my canteen. People say that girls should win guy's heart from his stomach, I think the other way round works too! I feel super-happy and loved when my tummy is happy =D

- 7 -

It's time to think of Advent resolution =)

More quick takes at Jen's blog :)

Missing Quick Takes

Hi...

I missed my Quick Takes again. I accidentally left my laptop in Paul's bag on Saturday, so I didn't have chance to write over the weekend.

Updates for this week:
1. My confessor for the past 2.5 years is needed back in Spain.
We all said, "So fast! Father is only here for 2.5 years," and he said, "Everyone says so. Hahaha"
I felt sad, but not sad. I mean, this is the first time I go confession regularly to the same priest, so there's a little feeling of sadness, but I know I shouldn't be sad. I feel very grateful that a few months ago, during a formation session, my formator has reminded us not to say things like "My spiritual director is Ms A or Fr B" because I used to do that! Hahaha. However, she told us that our spiritual director is not the individual. As spiritual direction is one type of formations, we can say that we receive spiritual direction from ____ (name of congregation or organization). This has helped me to not feel so sad (even though I still cried after going for confession for the last time to Father! Phew, at least this time I didn't cry in confessional 'as usual') hahaha

2. I dreamed that I went to India (again). Actually, it was not a beautiful dream because in my dream, someone tried to kill me >.< what a dream....
I do hope one day I can go back to India!! Hopefully Shimla! :)

3. Yesterday my friends organized 'documentary'-screening on "Keys to Happy Marriage". We borrowed the DVD from a priest, and today I tried to google it. You can buy the file from vimeo!
http://vimeo.com/ondemand/happymarriage

We watched the first four episodes only (there are 12 episodes in total). I think it's a good reminder for me, to remind me why I'm in a relationship and what is needed in a marriage. Not easy, but at least I understand more in which area I should struggle more in a relationship :)

--- last week of November ---

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

F(e)ast

As I was walking up to print on the third level of my office and thinking of today's feast (Presentation of Our Lady),something struck my mind:

There's only one letter difference between FEAST and FAST

Amazing. Hahaha.

It's uncommon to associate Lent with fasting and penance. As Christmas is coming soon, it's a gentle reminder to do lots of penance for our preparation to welcome Our Lord =D

What it means to be single

When I say "single" in this post, it means "not married", whether an individual is attached or not.

I've read an awesome post on the Catholic Young Women about the beautiful period called singlehood: on friendship that we form in this period of time. Unfortunately, I can't remember the title of the post. Anyway, let's talk about being single.

Some people look at being single as 'happy-go-lucky', but this term has a negative connotation. I would say that as single people, we're happy people =D (when we're married or not later on, depending on our vocation, we're still happy too, as long as that what God wants for us). 'happy-go-lucky' is usually defined as..hmmm, let me think. Do you whatever you want to do? Go wherever you want to go?

(Un)fortunately, this period is also a period in which we have a HUGE responsibility, just like the married life. During a formation session, a lady told me and Krizia, that apostolate is like another child for us. Since we still do not have children yet, we need to do LOTS of apostolate now, at this moment, as single ladies. It doesn't mean that when we're married, we don't do apostolate anymore, but the form of the apostolate will change. When we are married, the main apostolate is our family. However now, is a time to reach out to many people and nurture special friendships when we are generally more 'available'.

I (used to) like to complain (I used 'brackets' because I do still complain) about Paul's or my packed schedule. The thing is..we still can make time for each other, so there's no reason to complain =P However, I (used to) often complain:
1. My Saturdays are gone!!
2. Why can't we be like other couples?? Just go watch movie, no need to think about a, b, c.
(We watch fewer than four movies per year)

My Saturdays used to be very 'sacred'. You can cancel meeting me on other days, but NOT on Saturday evenings. I'll be super-grumpy and I'll say nasty things. (oh yeah...public holiday too!!)
It used to be easy. I used to have options: meet Friday + Saturday + Sunday or either two. Now we meet Friday / Saturday / Sunday --> choose one.

The good news is..I'm happy. We are happier. Not because we desperately want to get rid of each other or have our own personal time more, but because making time for other friends makes me focus on other people. Fr Mario is right. One way to kill the pride is firstly, pray and sacrifice more for other people. It's not that I don't struggle anymore, I do still feel upset when I'm tired, when I feel that it's so difficult to have my own time (or dating time!), when there is... change of plan (this one is still a HUGE stumbling block for me), and I can just break down and cry because of silly things. However, I thank God that He let me see how beautiful this period of living as a single lady (I wanted to write "girl", but *cough* not a girl anymore). This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment too. When I can spend time with my girl friends chatting and consoling each other, talking about our hopes and dreams, when I can spend afternoons with the cheerful (= noisy) little girls, when I can just have a quick dinner with my close friend before heading home, this is not what the world calls 'happy-go-lucky'. We are married for a mission, we are (still) single also for a mission :)

So yeah...how have you taken care of your "children"? :)

7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 23

- 1 -

I missed quick takes last Friday. Can I double today's post to 14 Quick Takes? Hahaha.
Anyway, reading progress: zero. I haven't continued reading my Brideshead Revisited. Perhaps I'm too frustrated with many unfamiliar words =P

- 2 -

Last week I taught the girls in the weekly girls club how to make a paper rose :)
This is the first time all girls finished the arts and craft session =P
I still think that my rose was not as pretty as the photos on the original website hahaha, but I love making the rose. I also made the paper rose for my boyfriend (the rose was immediately destroyed by his niece once he reached home because his niece also likes the paper rose --> = played with the rose with a 2-year-old strength and gentleness)

Black : first attempt. White: second attempt

Final result (I changed the centre of the flower)

- 3 -

After discussing a paper on child's understanding of joint intention in last week's brown bag, my boss shared with us about various research papers done by Michael Tomasello, not only on human infants, but also chimpanzee and dogs. Next week we're going to discuss this paper on how dogs understand imperative pointing.

- 4 -

Other than transcribing kids' videos for the observation research, I've spent this week doing some literature reviews for my boss on children's code-switching (mixing two different languages in one sentence or saying a sentence in different language after a sentence in another language). My boss has also returned the paper draft for the elderly project. LOTS of corrections need to be made. Btw, I've found statistics hell website by Andy Field is very useful. I don't really have experience in doing non-parametric statistics, but his website provided good information on various statistical methods and how to interpret the SPSS output.

- 5 -

I enjoyed my Spanish lessons so far. My favorite words: Zapatos (shoes), because it sounds like "Sepatu" (shoes in Indonesian language) and Cena (dinner). I also love learning how to pronounce "ll" (pronounce it as 'y') so now I can call "Iker Casillas" properly. (he's a goalkeeper by the way...)

- 6 -

Somehow, I felt the urge to try to do some flower arrangement. Once I saw a very beautiful flower arrangement at a study centre run by Opus Dei. I knew that the women who took care of the study centre are very good in flower arrangement and cooking. I should learn from them. Hehehe. I didn't know that flower arrangement has some basic shapes till I googled it =P

at the study centre :)

Anyway, let's see if I really try to do flower arrangement anytime soon.

- 7 -

I ate my second MacDonalds this month. Resolution failed again >.<
It's 1.5 month to end of 2013 and it's just two more weeks to Advent! Advent is coming!! ('coming' is coming!). My mom said that to make patchwork, I can just use running stitch. So maybe there's a hope for me to self-study patchwork. Anyway, before I start making this and that, I think I should put more effort to clean up my house more regularly >.<

Hmm, how about this Christmas stocking for a starting point? It looks a bit complicated though, so many squares! =P

More quick takes at Jen's blog!!

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. 22

- 1 -

Somehow it's been a tiring week. I received so much sad news for the past few weeks. My friend who was five month pregnant lost her baby and two friends' grandfathers passed away. Anyway, I always thought that their grandfathers were very blessed because many of us pray for their souls especially yesterday and this month. My maternal grandma passed away in November 2007. I always thought that she was blessed too because we remember to pray more for her soul in this month that the Church always dedicates for the souls in purgatory.

- 2 -

Regarding my friend whose baby just passed away, I was quite affected because this is the first time my own friend was the one experiencing this. I also has a doubt whether the doctor has given her full information about options of treatment and I was not sure if the doctor aborted the baby or the doctor asked her that giving birth prematurely is the only option. Please pray for my friend. She's been waiting for one year and three months ago she happily told me that this baby is a wedding anniversary gift from God. The day before the baby died, she was also still happily posting on facebook, "No salt for the next 2.5 months!! All the best!" (because she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and her blood pressure reached 190!)

- 3 -

Yesterday the girls' club (the primary school girls' activity on Saturdays) had biathlon challenge. I was so amazed by the family's support. The mothers or fathers ran as pacers to encourage the girls to keep running =P This was also the first time I met the parents of the girls with their other daughters/sons (it became like a family picnic!). And now I realize that I shouldn't complain because these mothers make lots of sacrifices on Saturdays (and other days =P), e.g., sending the little girl to a place for formation session for the little girls, then driving the elder sister to the Primary 3 - Primary 6 girls' club, then sending the boy the boys' club. Hahaha. :) Some of these mothers are very involved in planning the girls' club!! (While sometimes I just keep complaining in my heart, "Where's my used-to-be-happy Saturdays????") Anyway, I'm happy with the girls too on Saturdays. They teach me lots of things. Have I told you that I lost my scissors and I told about this to the girls? One of the girls said, "Ferninda, you must take care of your stuff." (same thing with what the people told me with regards to virtue of poverty, taking care of your stuff so it lasts longer!) Thumbs-up for the girls :)

- 4 -

One more month to Bali trip!!! I can't wait!!

- 5 -

On Tuesday, I watched "For the greater glory", a Mexican movie about the civil war in 1929. It's super cruel!!

I've been reading about civil war in Spain through the biography of St. Josemaria or Don Alvaro (soon Blessed Don Alvaro!!). Watching this movie knocks my head very hard because it reminds me that St. Josemaria was sooooooooooo faithful in the middle of the civil war (in Spain, it was also crazy like in Mexico).

- 6 -

Anyway, we'll start having Spanish lesson tomorrow!! Ola!!!! =D

- 7 -

Last two months of 2013. >.<

I wish.........
I could exercise more in these last two months of 2013

and

no more late for Masses. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!


More quick takes at Jen's blog!!

Useful resource for doctors regarding abortion

clarification: abortion = direct killing of the baby, as a means or an end.

***

Last week my friend lost her baby. She was five-months pregnant (almost six months), and my mom messaged me saying that the doctor 'took out' my friend's baby and my mom was going to the baby's funeral. I was so shocked and sad. I thought the baby 'aborted' the baby. (the word 'took out' was a literal translation from Indonesian language. That word usually means to terminate the pregnancy by using abortion.

I was chatting with my friend who just got his title as a 'doctor'. It turned out that for my friend's condition, eclampsia, 'take out' can mean that my friend gave birth and the baby did not survive.

I was confused and scared because I didn't know what doctor really did to my friend and her baby. Did the doctor abort the baby? Or did my friend give birth to the baby and the baby did not survive? Now I just can pray for her and she also said that she would talk to a priest. (I mentioned that only she herself knows the situation and what doctor did, so just tell the whole thing to the priest).

Anyway, because of this situation, I did some search about my friend's condition and I found this website:
http://www.prolifeinfo.ie/women/medical-matters/. I think this is a very useful website for doctors and patients alike. Many people do not know the difference between 'killing' the baby and doing procedure or medical treatment that may cause miscarriage. Many people also still think that the only way to save the mother's life is by killing the baby directly in a lot of cases, but this is not true. Many people are also still trapped in the situation of choosing whose life to be saved, rather than looking at the fact that there are two patients in a pregnant woman situation.

The sad thing is...sometimes I feel that some doctors just do not give a choice for the mother. Not a choice between killing or not killing the baby, but various options of medical or perinatal treatment or procedures. Sometime it's just a matter of time. Let the mother think for a while. Let the mother pray. Let the mother know the various options.

For example, my mom said that there's a situation in which the doctor told my mom's friend, "The baby's heartbeat is very weak. Perhaps you need to abort the baby because he won't survive, but feel free to go to other doctor to check first." This friend went to a second doctor, then the heartbeat of the baby was perfectly fine. Can you imagine what if this friend just followed the doctor's "advice"?

And we have LOTS of other cases, in which doctor said the baby will have hydrocephalus, the baby will be born with physical disabilities, the baby will be born with Down Syndrome, and doctor said, "It's better to abort the baby!". The mom insisted, "No," and it turns out that the babies were born fine and perfectly healthy!!! Of course there are a lot of other cases too in which the babies were really born with Down Syndrome, or with other physical disabilities, but they are humans too. They are loved by their family and they can enjoy the gift of life too. I won't say it's easy. My friend once said that her sister (with Down Syndrome) sometimes made things difficult, but with therapy, her sister know could understand slowly which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.

Anyway, it's just sooooooooo scary that there are many 'hidden abortion' cases. I mean, when people thought about 'abortion', the cases that they often bring up is regarding 'unwanted pregnancy'. However, it seems that there are many cases of abortion in the name of 'saving mother's life' or 'it's better for the baby not to be born rather that born with disabilities.'

Of course, when we talk about choosing a treatment that may cause miscarriage, things are usually more complicated. It's very important for the doctor to try to save both lives first. There's a difference between choosing this option as a 'shortcut' (this is the 'easy' way to save mother's life, I don't want to choose other viable treatment option) compared to choosing this option as 'last resort' (I have two patients here. I need to save both, but the only treatment available is this, e.g., hysterectomy in the case of cervical cancer in pregnant woman.). That's why I think doctors have a really really huge responsibility to learn various medical treatments that can at least lower the risk of miscarriage and as patients, we have an equally huge responsibility to seek complete information about our conditions and the various options of treatment.