clarification: abortion = direct killing of the baby, as a means or an end.
Last week my friend lost her baby. She was five-months pregnant (almost six months), and my mom messaged me saying that the doctor 'took out' my friend's baby and my mom was going to the baby's funeral. I was so shocked and sad. I thought the baby 'aborted' the baby. (the word 'took out' was a literal translation from Indonesian language. That word usually means to terminate the pregnancy by using abortion.
I was chatting with my friend who just got his title as a 'doctor'. It turned out that for my friend's condition, eclampsia, 'take out' can mean that my friend gave birth and the baby did not survive.
I was confused and scared because I didn't know what doctor really did to my friend and her baby. Did the doctor abort the baby? Or did my friend give birth to the baby and the baby did not survive? Now I just can pray for her and she also said that she would talk to a priest. (I mentioned that only she herself knows the situation and what doctor did, so just tell the whole thing to the priest).
Anyway, because of this situation, I did some search about my friend's condition and I found this website:
http://www.prolifeinfo.ie/women/medical-matters/. I think this is a very useful website for doctors and patients alike. Many people do not know the difference between 'killing' the baby and doing procedure or medical treatment that may cause miscarriage. Many people also still think that the only way to save the mother's life is by killing the baby directly in a lot of cases, but this is not true. Many people are also still trapped in the situation of choosing whose life to be saved, rather than looking at the fact that there are two patients in a pregnant woman situation.
The sad thing is...sometimes I feel that some doctors just do not give a choice for the mother. Not a choice between killing or not killing the baby, but various options of medical or perinatal treatment or procedures. Sometime it's just a matter of time. Let the mother think for a while. Let the mother pray. Let the mother know the various options.
For example, my mom said that there's a situation in which the doctor told my mom's friend, "The baby's heartbeat is very weak. Perhaps you need to abort the baby because he won't survive, but feel free to go to other doctor to check first." This friend went to a second doctor, then the heartbeat of the baby was perfectly fine. Can you imagine what if this friend just followed the doctor's "advice"?
And we have LOTS of other cases, in which doctor said the baby will have hydrocephalus, the baby will be born with physical disabilities, the baby will be born with Down Syndrome, and doctor said, "It's better to abort the baby!". The mom insisted, "No," and it turns out that the babies were born fine and perfectly healthy!!! Of course there are a lot of other cases too in which the babies were really born with Down Syndrome, or with other physical disabilities, but they are humans too. They are loved by their family and they can enjoy the gift of life too. I won't say it's easy. My friend once said that her sister (with Down Syndrome) sometimes made things difficult, but with therapy, her sister know could understand slowly which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
Anyway, it's just sooooooooo scary that there are many 'hidden abortion' cases. I mean, when people thought about 'abortion', the cases that they often bring up is regarding 'unwanted pregnancy'. However, it seems that there are many cases of abortion in the name of 'saving mother's life' or 'it's better for the baby not to be born rather that born with disabilities.'
Of course, when we talk about choosing a treatment that may cause miscarriage, things are usually more complicated. It's very important for the doctor to try to save both lives first. There's a difference between choosing this option as a 'shortcut' (this is the 'easy' way to save mother's life, I don't want to choose other viable treatment option) compared to choosing this option as 'last resort' (I have two patients here. I need to save both, but the only treatment available is this, e.g., hysterectomy in the case of cervical cancer in pregnant woman.). That's why I think doctors have a really really huge responsibility to learn various medical treatments that can at least lower the risk of miscarriage and as patients, we have an equally huge responsibility to seek complete information about our conditions and the various options of treatment.
***
Last week my friend lost her baby. She was five-months pregnant (almost six months), and my mom messaged me saying that the doctor 'took out' my friend's baby and my mom was going to the baby's funeral. I was so shocked and sad. I thought the baby 'aborted' the baby. (the word 'took out' was a literal translation from Indonesian language. That word usually means to terminate the pregnancy by using abortion.
I was chatting with my friend who just got his title as a 'doctor'. It turned out that for my friend's condition, eclampsia, 'take out' can mean that my friend gave birth and the baby did not survive.
I was confused and scared because I didn't know what doctor really did to my friend and her baby. Did the doctor abort the baby? Or did my friend give birth to the baby and the baby did not survive? Now I just can pray for her and she also said that she would talk to a priest. (I mentioned that only she herself knows the situation and what doctor did, so just tell the whole thing to the priest).
Anyway, because of this situation, I did some search about my friend's condition and I found this website:
http://www.prolifeinfo.ie/women/medical-matters/. I think this is a very useful website for doctors and patients alike. Many people do not know the difference between 'killing' the baby and doing procedure or medical treatment that may cause miscarriage. Many people also still think that the only way to save the mother's life is by killing the baby directly in a lot of cases, but this is not true. Many people are also still trapped in the situation of choosing whose life to be saved, rather than looking at the fact that there are two patients in a pregnant woman situation.
The sad thing is...sometimes I feel that some doctors just do not give a choice for the mother. Not a choice between killing or not killing the baby, but various options of medical or perinatal treatment or procedures. Sometime it's just a matter of time. Let the mother think for a while. Let the mother pray. Let the mother know the various options.
For example, my mom said that there's a situation in which the doctor told my mom's friend, "The baby's heartbeat is very weak. Perhaps you need to abort the baby because he won't survive, but feel free to go to other doctor to check first." This friend went to a second doctor, then the heartbeat of the baby was perfectly fine. Can you imagine what if this friend just followed the doctor's "advice"?
And we have LOTS of other cases, in which doctor said the baby will have hydrocephalus, the baby will be born with physical disabilities, the baby will be born with Down Syndrome, and doctor said, "It's better to abort the baby!". The mom insisted, "No," and it turns out that the babies were born fine and perfectly healthy!!! Of course there are a lot of other cases too in which the babies were really born with Down Syndrome, or with other physical disabilities, but they are humans too. They are loved by their family and they can enjoy the gift of life too. I won't say it's easy. My friend once said that her sister (with Down Syndrome) sometimes made things difficult, but with therapy, her sister know could understand slowly which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
Anyway, it's just sooooooooo scary that there are many 'hidden abortion' cases. I mean, when people thought about 'abortion', the cases that they often bring up is regarding 'unwanted pregnancy'. However, it seems that there are many cases of abortion in the name of 'saving mother's life' or 'it's better for the baby not to be born rather that born with disabilities.'
Of course, when we talk about choosing a treatment that may cause miscarriage, things are usually more complicated. It's very important for the doctor to try to save both lives first. There's a difference between choosing this option as a 'shortcut' (this is the 'easy' way to save mother's life, I don't want to choose other viable treatment option) compared to choosing this option as 'last resort' (I have two patients here. I need to save both, but the only treatment available is this, e.g., hysterectomy in the case of cervical cancer in pregnant woman.). That's why I think doctors have a really really huge responsibility to learn various medical treatments that can at least lower the risk of miscarriage and as patients, we have an equally huge responsibility to seek complete information about our conditions and the various options of treatment.
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