- 1 -
Domine, ut videam.
Lord, that I may see.
A prayer of the blind.
St. Josemaria used this line for years to ask for light from God. I have been recommending people to use this to pray when they are not sure what God wants. I guess this few months, this will be my main aspiration too. I'm searching for a light. There's something that I used to believe that I've seen, but people involved in it may not see it. So let's see. I'm praying so that God show me this light again. Will God show the same light twice? Or is this light like the star over the sky of Betlehem? It's still there but it's just hidden in this period.
I don't know.
Domine, ut videam
- 2 -
There's a new research assistant in my office. We kinda 'click' with each other :) I'm so happy!! She used to work as special education teacher, so now I know more about this field :)
- 3 -
Yesterday we had Spanish night at Hillcrest Study Centre! The spanish girl was so cute and expressive! She was wearing a dress for flamenco dance. So nice! HAHAHA.. And of course, the food was wonderful :) We also had Sangria (mixture of wine and sparkling juice). So happy :):)
- 4 -
How do you reconcile with others?
I think this can be an interesting topic of discussion. I think first, we need to reconcile with ourselves before trying to reconcile with others. Whatever the issue at hand is, my confessor and mentor have been telling me the same thing, I need to accept that some things are part of my character and pray about it at peace in front of Our Lord. They are telling me the same thing. Sometimes focusing on overcoming it can backfire me, that's what they said. Even just now I was mentioning about this to my non-Catholic friend. She said, it's part of me.
I feel at peace now but I really have difficulties in balancing it. It's like I'm talking in two different languages. Even I asked my mentor, "What do you mean by 'accepting'?" She said that it takes time to change, I need to be patient with myself. Sometimes the effort needed is not on focusing on the defects per se, but in changing the circumstances to make the struggle easier.
As much as I want to change, I guess for me, it's easier to change if I don't see it as a 'disease' that I need to get rid of. Sounds like a contradiction right? I think it's like 'I accept I have big tummy even though I want to have a small tummy' and I exercise for health, not for cutting down the size of my tummy, yet the side effect is I will have a smaller tummy. HAHAHHAAHA.. I think overcoming defects is a bit like that for me. I accept it as part of me, but I will still change some stuff that has the side effect of these defects will be manifested less often or without I realize it, these will be reduced!! =)
Ah sorry for being so abstract. That's my hypothesis for now for what accepting defects is. :)
- 5 -
My mom is very idealistic :) I love her.
She keeps telling me to brush up my Thai and Mandarin language skills and she asks me to write something (in Indonesian) and send it somewhere to get an extra income because I love writing.
Too bad, I haven't done that for a looooooooooooong time.
- 6 -
Talking about writing a short story, someone told me that the parents of a friend of her were kindergarten friends!! My goodness, I thought that case only happened in my short story. HAHAHAHA. Apparently it happens in real life.
- 7 -
The most beautiful thing that I've heard in these two weeks is:
"Keep your dream alive!"
It's very uplifting to hear it. Even though I can't achieve my dream now, Paul told me to keep my dream alive. Perhaps even if the opportunity comes only in 10 or 15 years from now, I will take the opportunity :)
More quick takes at Jen's blog!!
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