For the past two months, my boyfriend and his friends have been organizing a video screening about marriage and relationship (and tomorrow it will be a talk given by a couple instead of video screening). I found the video very useful because most of the time we may not have full understanding of what marriage is. Alternatively, we may know it 'theoretically', but we do struggle in resolving some issues such as communication!!
I've also felt that these sessions are very good because I have chance to meet other married couples, or couples in courtship period too, or other single friends with similar family values. So a good reminder for me is, "I'm not alone!!" It's a relief to know that the problem I have in communication with my boyfriend is not a unique problem =P Moreover, another benefit of 'networking' is I know that if one day I have problem, I can run to these people for help because they have watched the same video and they also know the basic principles of marriage. These people won't tell me to "It's okay, you're not compatible anymore, just divorce your husband".
Sadly, some people are not willing to give it a try to come for these sessions =P Well, I know people are busy, but I would like to share about some misunderstandings about coming to a talk or whatever session about marriage and relationship.
Some people feel that there's no need to go to this kind of talk or video screening or meet other couples because:
"I'm not getting married (yet)"
Let me share with you something...
by the time we are about to get married, it may be too late to go to this kind of talk or meet other couples. Of course, we are privileged to have similar talk or networking session with other couples in Marriage Preparation Course =) However, if we are at least 'thinking' to get married, these issues that are discussed in videos are important notes that need to be discussed with boyfriend/girlfriend or FUTURE boyfriend/girlfriend. By the time we are too attached to this person (whom may not be Mr or Mrs Right), it may be too difficult to break off the relationship if apparently they do not have the necessary values needed.
Anyway, this post title is "My mom said..."
I don't know if it works for you, but apparently the most important principles that I remember now are things that have been taught by my mom since I was secondary school or high school!! (Long before I know that my vocation is to marriage, long before I meet my current boyfriend)
Here are some of them:
1) if you don't respect yourself, how can you respect your partner to respect you?
This is my mom's way to teach me about the virtue of chastity.
I'm struggling too. Quite hard at times, but this one line is stuck in my head since I was secondary school. Even after we learn more about this virtue, this is like a quick alarm that helps me a lot.
2) love is like a plant, you need to nurture it, water it, give fertilizer, etc.
This advice is given later than advice # 1, but this advice is so powerful. This advice is the advice that made me realize that my ex-boyfriend doesn't have the same principle with me and it gave me courage to cut the relationship
3) if he really loves you, he will wait.
Again, same message with # 1.
4) Respect others' territory. If you live with your in-law, don't just do things in your own way.
My mom has given me this advice since I was much younger too (of course with a lot of emphasis NOW, even though marriage is still quite far). I believe one day when I look back, this thing will still stick in my mind because I know the advice much before I need it!
5) Someone who makes friend with florists will smell like flower, someone who makes friend with fish seller will smell like fish
Friendship is important =) We need to make friends with everyone, but to whom we are running to when we have problems, with whom we become close friends, these matter A LOT.
I am very grateful with my mom for this advice. Nic, Nyz, Pril, Evi, Pheara, and my Legion friends are the source of 'good smell' for me. I don't know how I will be without them. We all have similar values and I know I can run to them for a reliable advice. I knew Nic, Nyz, Pril since I was primary four. My mom gave me this advice long before 'peer pressure is a big pressure --> puberty time'. Thanks Mom for this advice =)
So this is a pattern that I've just realized...
We need supplements, vitamins, like advices, talks, or sharing LONG BEFORE WE THINK WE NEED IT! =) Surprise!!!!!
And to be honest, sometimes we just feel the benefit so many years afterwards, but it's easier to apply these advices if we already remember them inside-out ^^
Have a great Sunday!
My mom said....
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
I've also felt that these sessions are very good because I have chance to meet other married couples, or couples in courtship period too, or other single friends with similar family values. So a good reminder for me is, "I'm not alone!!" It's a relief to know that the problem I have in communication with my boyfriend is not a unique problem =P Moreover, another benefit of 'networking' is I know that if one day I have problem, I can run to these people for help because they have watched the same video and they also know the basic principles of marriage. These people won't tell me to "It's okay, you're not compatible anymore, just divorce your husband".
Sadly, some people are not willing to give it a try to come for these sessions =P Well, I know people are busy, but I would like to share about some misunderstandings about coming to a talk or whatever session about marriage and relationship.
Some people feel that there's no need to go to this kind of talk or video screening or meet other couples because:
"I'm not getting married (yet)"
Let me share with you something...
by the time we are about to get married, it may be too late to go to this kind of talk or meet other couples. Of course, we are privileged to have similar talk or networking session with other couples in Marriage Preparation Course =) However, if we are at least 'thinking' to get married, these issues that are discussed in videos are important notes that need to be discussed with boyfriend/girlfriend or FUTURE boyfriend/girlfriend. By the time we are too attached to this person (whom may not be Mr or Mrs Right), it may be too difficult to break off the relationship if apparently they do not have the necessary values needed.
Anyway, this post title is "My mom said..."
I don't know if it works for you, but apparently the most important principles that I remember now are things that have been taught by my mom since I was secondary school or high school!! (Long before I know that my vocation is to marriage, long before I meet my current boyfriend)
Here are some of them:
1) if you don't respect yourself, how can you respect your partner to respect you?
This is my mom's way to teach me about the virtue of chastity.
I'm struggling too. Quite hard at times, but this one line is stuck in my head since I was secondary school. Even after we learn more about this virtue, this is like a quick alarm that helps me a lot.
2) love is like a plant, you need to nurture it, water it, give fertilizer, etc.
This advice is given later than advice # 1, but this advice is so powerful. This advice is the advice that made me realize that my ex-boyfriend doesn't have the same principle with me and it gave me courage to cut the relationship
3) if he really loves you, he will wait.
Again, same message with # 1.
4) Respect others' territory. If you live with your in-law, don't just do things in your own way.
My mom has given me this advice since I was much younger too (of course with a lot of emphasis NOW, even though marriage is still quite far). I believe one day when I look back, this thing will still stick in my mind because I know the advice much before I need it!
5) Someone who makes friend with florists will smell like flower, someone who makes friend with fish seller will smell like fish
Friendship is important =) We need to make friends with everyone, but to whom we are running to when we have problems, with whom we become close friends, these matter A LOT.
I am very grateful with my mom for this advice. Nic, Nyz, Pril, Evi, Pheara, and my Legion friends are the source of 'good smell' for me. I don't know how I will be without them. We all have similar values and I know I can run to them for a reliable advice. I knew Nic, Nyz, Pril since I was primary four. My mom gave me this advice long before 'peer pressure is a big pressure --> puberty time'. Thanks Mom for this advice =)
So this is a pattern that I've just realized...
We need supplements, vitamins, like advices, talks, or sharing LONG BEFORE WE THINK WE NEED IT! =) Surprise!!!!!
And to be honest, sometimes we just feel the benefit so many years afterwards, but it's easier to apply these advices if we already remember them inside-out ^^
Have a great Sunday!
My mom said....
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
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