There are so many things that are happening in the past two weeks. I was like, wow...it's truly Holy Week.
Last week I felt much more peaceful after going to spiritual direction (obviously when I wrote the post, I had not gone to the spiritual direction). Anyway, sometimes things are getting very difficult. If added with tiredness, it becomes even worse. This week, something happened to my friend and I reflected a lot because of what has happened in two weeks. I was shown a huge contrast between my selfishness last week and my other friends' self-less-ness towards my friend.
Still.. I've found it difficult to be generous.
Precisely when I told Pilar today that my main struggle this week is to be generous, I got the first challenge already: being misunderstood of being selfish.
That hurts. It's like you're trying to change and improve yourself, but there's already a stamp on your forehead "Ferninda is selfish". And this happens exactly at the time when I told myself, "I want to be more generous." It's Like my intention can never match my action. As much as I want to be generous, my action still shows that I'm selfish.
Thank God, it's just nice that today's circle topic is on generosity and detachment. I really really need this topic.
Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you,".
Love one another sounds 'easy', but to love like how He loves us, with forgiveness, with gentleness, with 100% forgetful of your own self, with a self-giving love, is D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T
I'm praying hard so that He gives me strength to carry on and the grace to love like how He loves me.
Last week I felt much more peaceful after going to spiritual direction (obviously when I wrote the post, I had not gone to the spiritual direction). Anyway, sometimes things are getting very difficult. If added with tiredness, it becomes even worse. This week, something happened to my friend and I reflected a lot because of what has happened in two weeks. I was shown a huge contrast between my selfishness last week and my other friends' self-less-ness towards my friend.
Still.. I've found it difficult to be generous.
Precisely when I told Pilar today that my main struggle this week is to be generous, I got the first challenge already: being misunderstood of being selfish.
That hurts. It's like you're trying to change and improve yourself, but there's already a stamp on your forehead "Ferninda is selfish". And this happens exactly at the time when I told myself, "I want to be more generous." It's Like my intention can never match my action. As much as I want to be generous, my action still shows that I'm selfish.
Thank God, it's just nice that today's circle topic is on generosity and detachment. I really really need this topic.
Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you,".
Love one another sounds 'easy', but to love like how He loves us, with forgiveness, with gentleness, with 100% forgetful of your own self, with a self-giving love, is D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T
I'm praying hard so that He gives me strength to carry on and the grace to love like how He loves me.
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